Crap to fix if you ain't Martha!

Run Chicken Run!!!!!

2010-01-26T14:28:00.000-08:00

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running from Mel’s clever! Bahahahaha! There are a million more jokes about chickens, most centered around breasts and thighs that we will not mention.

Although I love chicken dearly, I have never actually killed one. I’ve heard stories the most humane way to kill a chicken is to hold it by the neck and swing it around in the air like a sports towel at a football game. I’m not sure whose definition of humane THAT would have been, but in any event, I love poultry. I actually raise chickens for layers and have poultry pets. They will curl up and nap with you just like cats and dogs. Believe it! Chickens are not the brightest creatures in the world but can provide great entertainment at parties watching how easily they are hypnotized.

We’re not here though to discuss the traits of a chicken as a pet or as a productive member of farm society, but rather to discuss how many things you can do with just one dead chicken. I must admit since beginning this weight loss journey I have had crazy strong cravings for protein. My beloved layers have seen the gleam in my eye, and have run from me fearing for their life.

Instead of the usual hen in a crock, I opted to see just how far I could take four Cornish game hens. The results even surprised me! The results were as follows. From four cornish hens in a crock pot you can…
1. Throw some carrots, potatoes, sweet potatoes and onions in the crockpot with the birds. Not only will they add flavor, you can have the veggies with two of the roasted birds for dinner.
2. Take your third bird and make chicken salad for lunches. I chose a curry chicken salad with cashews and cranberries.
3. Take your fourth bird to use for chicken & dumplings, a chicken pot pie or whatever else strikes your fancy. If you don’t use it, you can freeze it for later, or just use the meat for chicken sandwiches.
4. We’re all out of birds, but NO, we are NOT finished! If you have some leftover vegetables from the first meal, or a package of frozen veggies, place them on standby. Take the stock from the crockpot and any leftover bones, skins or the entire carcass and thrown them back in a pot. Add about 2 cups of water and bring to a boil. Reduce until you have a nice chicken stock, then drain out the undesirable items! You can use the stock for chicken & dumplings, chicken soup, veggie soup, ANY soup or stew, or you can freeze the stock in individual ice cube trays to use as seasonings.
5. You can always fry the liver and gizzards for dessert!

Bon a petit’!

Lacey's The Long and The Short Roasted Chicken

2010-01-26T10:58:00.000-08:00

Here is the long and short of it: I've committed myself to getting healthier, losing weight, eating better, going to the gym, etc. This means that I get home later each night and attempting to cook a full on healthy dinner for a family of three so that we can eat before 7pm is next to impossible. It drives me crazy.

Recently I started preparing as much food as I could on the weekends in an effort to combat this feeling of "screw it, I am not cooking, fend for yourselves husband and three year old!" Sunday was no different, so I got to cooking...

The Long Chicken: I got out the chicken, rinsed it off, rubbed some evoo and spices all over it and took a look in the fridge to see what I could shove inside it for flavor and wrap around the outside for a whole meal. It took about 1/2 hour to prepare all this, not so bad.
http://s971.photobucket.com/albums/ae191/laceyhardyhar/?action=view¤t=Pictures1174.jpg
(Sorry, I had WAY too much fun with text boxes in photobucket this week!)

Inside:
salt and pepper inside the cavity
a whole apple cut in quarters
a lemon quartered
half an onion chopped up
couple garlic cloves

Outside:
evoo, sea salt and herbs de provence rubbed generously over the skin
finger potatoes quartered
chopped carrots
chopped lemon
a whole thing of garlic because you knows I loves gaaahlic. On anything.
A drizzle of evoo over the veggies

Put lid or tinfoil over it, bake in oven on 350 for 45 minutes. Take lid off and let brown. YOu can use a thermometer to make sure chicken is thoroughly cooked, but I chose to throw fate in the wind and took it out at an hour. It was juicy goodness, so we ate. And I smeared garlic on bread and the chicken. Then we put the rest of it in some tupperware and shoved it in the refridgerator for later.

Here is where it gets all tricky. I had dreams of roasting tomatillos and making chicken spinach enchiladas with tomatillo sauce. But I live in Oregon, and we are in month 1.5 of the 6 month rainy season, so there was no grilling anything on the bbq. Except maybe the every constant drizzle, or downpour, depending on the day.

Come Wednesday night the tomatillos were still in the fridge, I was all sweaty from the gym and tired and did. not. want. to. cook. Hence, The Short Chicken (aka - left overs). I literally dumped out all the chicken, potatoes, garlic, onion and carrots onto a platter, and heated it in the microwave. The broth was all apply and lemony and oniony and great poured over the chicken and veggies.
While my husband really liked the addition of the apple into the mix, this was a new venture, I am not too sure about it. It competed way too much with my friend Lemon.
http://s971.photobucket.com/albums/ae191/laceyhardyhar/?action=view¤t=Pictures1176.jpg&newest=1

And there you have it. Sure you could make chicken spinach tomatillo enchiladas and be all fancy, but who has the time when you are busting your lady humps at the gym every night!

Nikki's Banana Nut Oatmeal Custard MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

2010-01-11T16:37:00.001-08:00

I love oatmeal. It brings back memories of Saturday mornings with Mom, she'd fix us big bowls of oats, doused in whole milk and smothered in brown sugar, and served with a peice of buttered toast.

To this day that is by far my favorite way to eat it, however trying to eat healthier tends to put the nix on milk & sugar smothered anything so I've been attempting to branch out. A few months ago one of the chicks (Kim I think) found a recipe for an oatmeal custard (and while we love to credit blogs that we see cool things on I'm afraid I can't remember where this one came from!!) where the blogger had stirred an egg into her oats and declared her obsession with the rich custardy flavor the egg adds. Over the holidays I was looking for easy to make, filling things I could have at breakfast, that my nephews would eat too (they come to my house in the mornings before school), that would apease my sweet tooth and keep my cravings at bay in the face of all the Christmas goodies at the office. In my experimentations I've thrown in everything from banana's to appleasauce to frozen strawberries and by far my favorite so far is banana nut.

Ingrediants:

1/3 cup milk
1/3 cup water
1/3 cup liquid eggwhites (eggbeaters or 1 whole egg work good too, but if you use a whole egg dont stir it in until the end or you'll have scrambled eggs in your oats!)
1/2 a banana diced
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup quaker oats (quick cook or old fashioned)
1 tbs chopped walnuts
1 tsp cinnamon (plus a little more to sprinkle on top!)
1 packet of stevia (or sweetener of your choice)

Combine all of your ingrediants in a saucepan and cover. Cook on medium-high heat until oats just begin to boil (stir a couple times to keep milk from settling on the bottom and scalding!). Remove lid and reduce to simmer, stiring until thickened. Sprinkle a little extra cinnamon on top and enjoy!

(p.s. check out my pretty new dishes!!!)

I really can't say enough about how great this dish is, super easy, can be made in bulk in advance and nuked for a minute which is great for mornings when I'm running late and dont eat until I get to the office. This WILL keep you full until lunch, I am a hardcore snacker and I didnt even think about food until about 11am after eating this at 6:30am (usually I'd be rumaging in my desk for lonely lost chocolate bars by 9!).

Now lets break this down for you so you can see how seriously good for you this meal is!
Protein: 18 grams
Fiber: 7 grams
*Fiber & Protein are GREAT for helping you to feel fuller, longer*
Calcium: 14 grams
Iron: 12 grams
Potassium: 536 grams
*Potassium has been shown to reduce the risk of hypertension & stroke as well as aiding the body in healing muscle damage which will help you recover from your workouts!*
Fat: 10 grams
*which sounds like a lot but most of it is coming from the walnuts, the fat in walnuts is nearly 75% polyunsaturated fat which is helps lower cholesterol*
Calories: 340
*if this number scares you, drop it to 311 and cut 2 grams of fat by switching to skim milk, and reducing the milk & egg to 1/4 cup, and increasing the water to 1/2 cup*

Plus: studies have shown that cinnamon can help regulate blood sugar levels in diabetics as well as lowering cholesterol!

Melissa's Cheer"ies" to Oatmeal

2010-01-11T12:28:00.000-08:00

CHERRY ALMOND OATMEAL
Oatmeal. I am one of the few Americans who did NOT grow up with this as a staple. I was strictly a grits (Girls. Raised. In. The. South.!) girl. When I got married my husband, who WAS a Child of Oatmeal, thought it sheer blasphemy that not only did I NOT prepare this for breakfast, but thought it was totally and utterly….DISGUSTING! Even with pleading his case, oatmeal was not allowed in my kitchen or on my table until several years later.
When I began my weight loss journey and learned what a powerful food oatmeal could be, I began a mission to acquire the taste for oatmeal. I decided that if I could convince myself that raw fish was a delicious delicacy and red wine was to be adored, I could, I WOULD, find a way to love oatmeal. Having finally made the decision, I began the long, long road to oatmeal respect.

This was not going to be easy I decided. It did not have the “trendyness” of raw fish, nor the buzz of red wine. Hmmm. Why should I like this? What DID it have again? I asked my husband what his choice would be and he promptly answered Quaker instant oatmeal with cinnamon and apples. Yum, I thought. I like cinnamon. I like apples. And soon I found that not only did I really like these things, but how much I REALLY, TRULY HATED, HATED, HATED instant oatmeal! Can anyone say Wallpaper paste? Um, no thank you.

A few weeks went by and I decided to try again after reading yet another report touting the benefits of oatmeal. I called an oatmeal connoisseur friend and asked many questions. It was then I learned of steel cut oats. After much trial and error which included an oatmeal implosion in my microwave and an hour long cleaning frenzy of my kitchen ceiling, (I’ll spare you the remaining details and leave those up to your imagination), I FINALLY found a way to not only EAT oatmeal, but to ENJOY oatmeal. Maybe it was my taste buds finally giving in to what was being repeatedly forced upon them…..maybe it was my body relishing in the goodness I had provided it…maybe it was true love...ok not really. Whatever it was, it wasn’t bad. It wasn’t wallpaper pasty. Then again, it wasn’t the best thing that ever crossed my lips either. What it is though, is a way I can eat the stuff that’s not bad. A way in fact I do not have to force myself to swallow. So, here’s the recipe for non-pasty, adequate oatmeal with a decent cherry flavor. That’s all I got to offer yall on oatmeal.

Cherry Almond Oatmeal
Ingredients:
1 tablespoon butter
1 cup steel cut oats
3 cups boiling water
1/2 cup whole milk
1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon low-fat buttermilk
1 tablespoon cherry butter
1/8 cup dried cherries
1 tsp. almond extract

Directions:
In a large saucepot, melt the butters and add the oats. Stir for 2 minutes to toast. Add the boiling water and reduce heat to a simmer. Keep at a low simmer for 25 minutes, without stirring.

Combine the milk and half of the buttermilk with the oatmeal. Stir gently to combine and cook for an additional 10 minutes. Add the almond extract. Spoon into a serving bowl and top with remaining buttermilk and dried cherries.

Don't Give Up On Us!

2009-12-15T08:59:00.000-08:00

With the holidays here, the Four Chicks have been a little busy. We're cooking of course, but we just haven't had time to blog it. So keep checking back. We'll get our butts in gear soon and get back to what we came here for...
To see what Four Chicks, scattered across America, who are NOT Martha, can come up with when we throw a few things in a bowl!

Until then, Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to our readers!

Pie in the Sky (week)!

2009-11-30T13:52:00.000-08:00

Week of Thanksgiving...can you say CRAZYNESS in the extreme? Each of the Four Chicks made a pie but all forgot to take pics till the very end. So, we say take a look at your own dern pies and pretend we baked them for you. Okay?

Up next week: Ummm..check the schedule on the right.

Toodles,
XOXO

Oh Meatloaf How I Love/Hate You So....

2009-11-24T18:00:00.000-08:00

Meatloaf is a sore subject for me. When I very first got married to my wonderful husband I had such high hopes. I grew up with a Grandmother & Aunt were were fantastic cooks, great at down home style from scratch cooking who never seemed to need a recipe to create beautiful & delicious meals, a mom who, while extrodinarily culinarily challenged (adding extra cheese to her kraft mac was about as adventerous in cooking as she got) dabbled in vegitarianism and introduced me (via wonderful local restaurants) to such delights as: tofu & bean sprouts, and a wonderfully endulgant dad who was willing to try whatever concoction I dreamed up, and praised each dish as a culinary masterpiece... looking back I'm sure he exagerated... but only a bit! So when I got married I was just sure that while my husband was accustomed to white bread, meat & potatos I would quite soon open his eyes to the wonderful world of creative cooking. I mean with my background & the obvious hereditary cooking skills where could I go wrong?

Well for starters I could go wrong with meatloaf. Shortly after my dear husband and I moved in together I announced that I was going to make him a delicious meatloaf dinner. Being a meat & potatos man, he was understandably excited as meatloaf is a far cry from the fish, veggie burgers & chicken dishes that he was beginning to fear were the only things I could (or would) make. Now I have never made meatloaf before but it can't be that challenging, everyone has a family specialty and I had never tasted one that was actually awful... maybe dry & bland but certainly they were always edible. I called around for tips and finally settled on my sister's Meatloaf Florantine. I subbed out a few things to make it easier & uber healthy and ended up with a turkey meatloaf with spinach mixed in and topped with a mix of italian cheeses. I was pretty proud of it, it was healthy, fairly tasty and while not traditional, it was technically a loaf of meat... I did not consider for a second that my husband might take offense to me messing with one of his favorite meals. He was not impressed and 2/3 of the EXTRA large loaf (I made lots because I just KNEW he was going to love it) went in the trash.

Since that fateful day I have learned just which dishes are strictly off limits to my creative tweaking (meatloaf, chili, pasta & tuna salad to name a few) and how to sneak in healthier choices into even the most sacred of dishes without getting caught. Meatloaf has still been a bit of a challenge, after a few more tries I came up with a version of a friend's recipe that involves a traditional meatloaf cooked potroast style surrounded in carrots & potatoes in a tomato based sauce. I've been making that one for the last year and a half thinking it was acceptable until I told hubby that our next post was meatloaf and he requested (several times over the course of several days and even after I agreed reminded me several more times) to make a "normal" meatloaf without the "extra stuff" with just the "normal" stuff. He also just about begged me not to add spinach (seriously that was over two YEARS ago!). SO this was another experimental recipe and I'm happy to say that I rocked it :)

Ingrediants:

meatloaf base:
1lb lean ground beef (90/10 or leaner)
3 hot italian turkey sausage links, squeezed out of the casing
1/2 cup coursly chopped portobella mushrooms
1 medium onion diced small
1 heaping tablespoon minced garlic
2 eggs, beaten
1/3 cup bread crumbs

Put all ingrediants into a bowl and smoosh well to mix. I HIGHLY recomend smooshing by hand, but if you're squeemish you can use a mixer... but seriously now what red-blooded woman doesnt like to get her hands in there and smoosh some meat?? Now I made my meatloaf base with plans to top with ketchup to make my darling husband happy BUT after hearing Lacey raving about her salt crusted meatloaf I wanted to attempt something similar. I was loathe to have another meatloaf florentine incident so I split the base in half and made two smaller loafs on my baking sheet. Here are your topping options:

Parmesian & Sea Salt crust:
Mix the following in a small bowl
1/4 cup parmasan cheese
1/4 cup course sea salt
1/4 cup bread crumbs
1 tsp garlic salt
1 tsp basil

Generously coat the outside of the meatloaf in the mixture, pressing it into the loaf so it sticks. Dump the extra on top and spread around evenly.

Traditional (ish) ketchup topping
Coat the loaf in brown sugar, you'll probably use about 1/3 of a cup
Top this evenly with about 3 tsp Hickory Bacon Salt (If you've never heard of Bacon salt you have been sorely deprived, J & D's bacon salt had changed my life, and it can change yours too! they have come up with a Kosher Certified way to make everything-even your envelopes-taste like bacon)
Spread 1/2 cup of ketchup over the top and sprinkle with a little more bacon salt (seriously, you NEED to try this!)

Whichever option you choose, or if you decide to be like me and split the loaf and use both (in which case use half of everything!) pop that bad boy in the oven at 375 for 50 minutes (if spitting the loaf cut cooking time to 40 minutes) allow the loaf to cool for about 10 minutes before cutting into the beefy goodness and enjoy. I personally thought both loafs were phenominal, the hubby preferred the ketchup topped loaf and polished off the leftovers within 3 days. That my dears is what I would call culinary success!!!!!!

Lacey's Smokey Cumin Chicken Couscous Soup

2009-11-18T19:22:00.001-08:00

Couscous week. Huh. Filler food. Hmmm. Tried it once a while back, didn't like it. Bland. Boring. Blah. Not into this. At all. But in the effort to be a blogging fourchick team player I find a recipe that looks promising. (Sorry, I'm feeling a bit snarky bitch on this fine Wednesday night).

I come home cranky and ready to break open that expensive chocolate bar I've been hoarding in the top of the spice cabinet (yes, I really do have a whole three shelves dedicated to spice), and some wine, but try my damnedest to evade, evade, evade. So I get out my ingredients are start cookin'. Is damnedest a word?!?
Ingredients:
1 chicken breast (mine was already cooked)
2/3 cups couscous
1 sweet potato
1/2 onion
1 shallot
2 green onions
2 zucchini
1 can tomatoe puree (I have organic)
4-6 cups broth. I used veggie and chicken stock. If you like your soup more dense, add less.
3 teaspoons of cumin or more
1 teaspoon of curry powder
fresh thyme and italian parsley
juice of two mini limes (apparently they are key limes)
1 heaping teaspoon of really good smoked paprika (don't skimp on the crappy stuff, trust me)
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
sea salt to taste
pepper to taste

I chop the onion and shallot and cook in some olive oil. Doesn't shallot sounds like a french version of shat? Good thing they don't taste like shat or this soup would be a total waste, get it? ha ha.
Onions done, add in rest of veggies, chicken, spices, etc. etc. etc. And the couscous.

Let it all simmer together for about 1/2 hour and dish it up. It's goOod. It's healthy and whole grained nutritious. It's smokey. It's cuminy and curry-y. And spicy and sweet. The filler...um couscous...was even good for texture in relationship to the crunchy zucchini and sweet potato.

So when you come home in a snarky bitch mood like I did and all you want is some freakin' chocolate, but you can't because you're trying to lose weight, cook this instead. Just taste testing the broth while it was simmering was enough to pull me out of most of my SBM. Not enough to forgo the glass of white wine tonight, but enough to forget about the chocolate. (That was because I ate too damn much soup and am stuffed, but we won't tell anyone that!)

Oh yeah..I found this recipe at http://www.foodandwine.com/ and then changed it to my tastes at the time. Lime for my sour mood. Paprika for my devilled egg craving. Curry powder because I made pineapple fried rice the other night with it and am still on a big curry kick. Thyme and italian parsley because they were in my fridge....you get the idea.

Couscous Can be Creative!

2009-11-16T07:26:00.000-08:00

Couscous.

It’s a funny word for a funny little food product. What is couscous you ask? It is a dish consisting of spherical granules made by rolling and shaping moistened semolina wheat (sweet corn) and then coating them with finely ground wheat flour. The finished granules are about one millimetre in diameter before cooking. It’s probably not your common, everyday food product served in American homes, but it’s a very tasty dish, very popular in Morocco and in the Middle East. It can be eaten alone, flavored, or plain, warm or cold (e.g., mixed with tabouli), or as a side dish. So, who wants to place bets on how each of the four chicks will cook theirs? Gourmet? Organic whole grain? Boxed mix? Sweet or savory? Tune in this week to find out! Whatever method it is prepared, it promises to be completely MARTHALICIOUS!!

Lacey's Salt Crusted BBQ Chili Verde Sauce Meatloaf

2009-11-15T10:06:00.000-08:00

There really isn't a good way to make a loaf of meat smothered in some sort of sauce look great on a photo. In my opinion at least. So there it is...
When making meatloaf I always look in the depths of the fridge and bottom most shelf in the door to see what bottled sauces have been lurking around a little too long so I can use them up. This time I found bag of shredded carrots, thai chili sauce and some gluten free Chile Verde BBQ Sauce I had picked up on my last trek to Whole Foods Market in the search of wheat and dairy free items my daughter could eat. And let me be honest here, I HEART Whole Foods. I wish it wasn't so far away (100 miles) because the store inspires me every time to try new foods and cooking methods. And their cheese section? O - M - G!
Grabbing the carrots, Chile Verde sauce and the rest of the ingredients on my meatloaf recipe roster, I tossed them all in a bowl:

Two packages of 7% all natural hamburger
2 eggs
small squirt of ketchup
about 3/4 cup of oats
1/2 cupish of bread crumbs
salt and pepper
around 1 cup of the Chile Verde BBQ Sauce
Pre shredded carrots I chopped up even finer - 3/4 cup
I put on some rubber gloves and got to work mushing and mixing it all up, saw it was too runny and added another dump of oats in. Perfect.

Get out the cookie sheet, place some parchment paper on top and dump out the meat mix. Form into a loaf with your hands (hence the "meatloaf" name). This time I got creative and got out my smoked Hawaiian Sea Salt and patted a good helping into the top of the loaf and it was definitely worth the use of the expensive salt.
Pop the meatloaf in the oven on 375 for about an hour. Mine took over an hour because the loaf was bigger.

I prefer this method over placing the loaf in a bread pan because all the juices and fat and stuff can run off the meatloaf rather than it baking in its own grease. And I've never had an issue with it turning out anything other than perfectly moist.

This version was much sweeter than my standard issue loaf, but that is to be expected with the Chile Verde sauce and the carrots. The salt crust on top made each bite a savory treat, I won't be forgetting to add that little marvel in again any time soon! We always have left overs, our favorite part. We enjoyed meatloaf sandwiches on roasted garlic sourdough bread all week for lunch. YUM.

Melissa's Magic Turkey Loaf

2009-11-10T07:10:00.000-08:00

So this week the gals have decided to loaf around…with some meat huh?! This surely DOES mean trouble! When I decided to lose weight the first thing that was banned from my home was meatloaf and mashed potatoes because I simply cannot control myself with the combination. It makes my mouth water just to THINK of mama’s meatloaf and I have been known to clear an entire pan in a mere 24 hours…or less!

Although mama made one hell of a meatloaf, I think I can improve just a bit on her perfection and create it a little more healthy at the same time. ...At least we’re gonna try! So what CAN we possibly add to make a meatloaf MORE delectable, MORE tasty, MORE gourmet”ish”, MORE comforting AND keep it from causing a major artery clog? How about layer it with bacon and fill the center with 4 kinds of ooey, gooey cheese! Turkey bacon and reduced fat cheese that is...TOTALLY works for me! The magic of this meatloaf is how quickly it will disappear! Bon apetit’!

Magic Turkey Loaf

2 rolls 97/3 turkey sausage

1 package Onion Soup Mix

1/4 cup diced bell peppers

1/4 cup diced red onion

1/4 cup diced red bell pepper

2 eggs

8 slices turkey bacon

1/2 cup reduced fat mozarella cheese

Sauce:

1 cup ketchup

1 tbsp. Worchestershire sauce

1 tsp. brown sugar

Whisk until well blended.

Directions:

Saute veggies in about 1 tbsp. evoo. Let cool , then combine all ingredients in large mixing bowl except bacon and cheese. Really get your hands in your meat and knead well. Place 1/2 of the meat mixture in a baking pan. Layer with half the bacon and half the cheese. Top with remaining turkey mixture, remaining bacon and remaining cheese. Bake at 375 for about 45 minutes. Top with sauce and bake another 15 minutes until glaze is thickly coating the loaf and meat is done throughout. This is excellent served with curried sweet potatoes as shown above.

Four Chicks Just Loafin' Around

2009-11-05T10:52:00.000-08:00

This week the gals have decided to loaf around…with some meat! Ahem…the kind that goes well with mashed potatoes. Dang ya’ll.

Meatloaf is an all time, absolute, favorite, universal comfort food that makes taste buds tingle and dance with delight. Add a side of creamy mashed potatoes with bites of tangy tomato sauced meat and a little onion; how can you go wrong with that?! Not to mention you can use anything in the kitchen to make one, except maybe the sink.

So let's see what spin these four crazy chicks from across the country can put on mama's classic. Anytime the Hooker Cooker, Alternative ala Carte, Wild Card and the Gifted Gourmet get in the kitchen and play with...ahem...meat..., there's BOUND to be trouble!!!

Winter Squash Week!

2009-11-04T16:27:00.000-08:00

Squash is a racquet sport played in an enclosed space. There are apparently five different kinds of balls used in the game, can you even imagine?? The court is encased in an effort to ensure onlookers don't get their own nads knocked off by the fast flying.....Okay, OKAY! WRONG SQUASH.
While The Four Chicks do sometimes like to envision balls flying (especially this week), we are not about sports on this blog. We are about food.

Hence: Winter Squash Week.

Whatever will we cook or bake? What kind of squash will we choose? Do we even like winter squash? Read on and find out!

Nikki's Belated Apple Squash Bake

2009-11-04T10:36:00.000-08:00

I love squash and finding reasons to sneak it into any recipe I make is a guilty pleasure of mine (any way I can possibley trick the hubby into eating uber healthy food is exciting to me!). While squash on its own is tasty, a light, slightly sweet flavour, it readily absorbs other flavours from sweet to spicey.

This weeks surreptitiously healthy recipe is a spin on my grandma's baked apple recipe. Aside from tasting great, this stuff smells orgasmic... must be the cinnamon in it- did you know that the Queen of Sheba used cinnamon to lure King Soloman? Powerful stuff :)

Ok, first things first, I must include a disclaimer: you will be working with a sharp object, there will be cutting & peeling... The Four Chicks will take no responsibility for missing and/or maimed appendages. Any of you (and you know who you are!) who should not be trusted with a sharp object, please obtain assistance from a loved one for the cutting portions of this weeks recipe!!

Step One: Assemble your Ingrediants:
1) one small or 1/2 of a large butternut squash
2) 3 apples (you want equal parts squash & apple slices)
3) 2 tbs flour
4) 2-3 tsp cinnamon (I use 4 but I REALLY love cinnamon!)
5) 1/4 cup agave nectar (you can use honey or maple syrup, just make sure you don't use an artificially flavored Mrs Butterworth's-style syrup, use the real thing!)
6) 1/4 cup brown sugar
7) 3 tbs lemon juice
8) 1/4 cup apple cider (you can use apple, grape or cranberry juice instead, just stick with the 100% juice varieties)
9) 3 tbs cold butter

Step Two: Slice & Dice!

Cut the squash in half (please see disclaimer above) and scoop out the seeds. Cut the squash into large chunks and then slice off the skin (I tried using a veggie peeler but it really doesn't work well, using a knife is the easiest way but for the butterfingers out there, its also slightly dangerous... please dont lose a finger!). Next slice the big chunks into thin slices (you'll want them to be no more than 1/2 inch thick). Slice 3 tart apples (I used macintosh apples, granny smith would be good too) and slice them to the same size & thickness as your squash. I left the skins on mine, if you're not a fan of apple skins you can peel it off.

Step Three: Assemble!

Spray a thin layer of Pam in the bottom of your baking dish and spread the apple & squash in the dish, mixing it up evenly. Sprinkle about 2 tbs flour over the apples & squash. Over the top of that sprinkle 2-3 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 cup agave nectar & 1/4 cup brown sugar, next sprinkle 3 tbs of lemon juice then 1/4 cup apple cider. Next slice 3 tbs cold butter into thin slices, and cut each one of those in half and place them in the squash & apple (slide them down into the crevaces... wait that sounds dirty...).

Step Four: Bake!

Cover the dish with foil and bake at 325 for 25-30 minutes (until the squash is soft). Pull the dish out and let it cool for 5-10 minutes, as it cools the sauce will thicken a bit, now enjoy!

Melissa's Chicken and Squash Dumplings

2009-11-03T07:42:00.000-08:00

If you were limited on the potential of squash, you won't be after this week's posts! Squash isn't just for casseroles anymore! There are so many varieties and it is such a versatile vegetable. Don't get me wrong, I love a good squash casserole that just screams Southern Comfort Food. This week however, we are taking squash in a very different comfort food direction...and we have selected the amazing butternut variety to accompany us!

Melissa's Chicken and Butternut Squash Dumplings

1 large hen

water to cover

1 tbsp. thyme

1 tbsp. basil

1 tbsp. sage

1 tbsp. pepper

1 tbsp. paprika

1 tbsp. seasoned salt

1 tbsp. parsley

1 tbsp. bay leaves

1 tbsp. turmeric

Place hen in pot, cover with water then add all of the spices. Bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer about an hour or until meat is thoroughly cooked and falling off the bone. Remove the chicken and set it aside. When cool enough to handle, skin and bone the chicken and shred or cut it into bite sized pieces.

Dumplings:
2 cups flour

1 cup cooked butternut squash, mashed

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup water

In a large bowl, thoroughly mix the flour baking powder and salt. Add your squash.
Using a pastry blender, cut in the butter until it's well combined. Add water and knead 8 to 10 times. You can add small amounts of flour if the dough becomes sticky. Roll the dough out to and cut into 1-inch x 5 inch strips. Bring the broth back to a rolling boil, drop in your dumplings, cover the pot and reduce the heat to simmer. Cook for 10 minutes or until the dumplings are cooked. Add your chicken and remove from heat. Cover for 30 minutes to allow your broth to thicken.

A great accompaniment for these chicken and dumplings are another squash favorite...Squash Pickles! This recipe calls for your simple yellow crook neck squash:

Southern Squash Pickles

6 medium crook neck squash - sliced

1 small jar mustard seed

3 cups sugar

3 cups white distilled vinegar

Bring sugar, vinegar and mustard seed to a boil stirring constantly so sugar will dissolve and not burn. Add your squash, and let cook for approximatley 5 minutes. You do not want to over cook the squash and you will end up with mushy pickles. Prepare your canning jars by washing and placing in hot water, One at time, add pickles and firmly pack your jar. Fill with your juice. Remove all air bubbles, then wipe rim and seal with lid and band. Process the canned pickles in a boiling water bath for about 15 minutes. Allow to cool overnight, the check for solid seals by gently pressing the centers of the lids. If they do not press in at all, you have a good seal. If they have not sealed you can either attempt to reprocess or refrigerate. You can also add pimentos to this recipe for color and Viadlia rings for contrast if desired.

Lacey's Chipotle Acorn Squash Sauced Enchilada's

2009-10-31T16:49:00.000-07:00

2009 is the first year I've ever experimented with any kind of winter squash. I grew up on zucchini, yellow squash and my all time favorite patty pan's, but winter squash? Well...I can barely handle one sliver of pumpkin pie much less eating a winter squash as the main thing on my dinner plate. Ew. But this year however, I've rocked the winter squash. I made a ton of butternut squash and bleu cheese raviolis which are to die for good. This recipe though, this is one of the best things I've made in a very long time. Not. Kidding. (And it's not something to be baked really, so it was a shoe-in that I wouldn't fuck it up!)

Ingredients for the Enchilada Sauce:
1/2 baked acorn squash pulp- I love that you can buy them and pretty much ignore them for a month and they are still going to be good, unlike most veggies.
1/2 can Chipotle Peppers in Adobo sauce
1 garlic clove
1/2 yellow onion
sea salt to taste
1 tbsp butter (organic)
1 tbsp evoo (organic)
1/4 cup cream (organic)
3/4 cup chicken or veggie broth (organic)
Put this all in a food processor and blend the heck out of it till its creamy and smooth. It will be thick. You can thin it out if you prefer by adding more broth. A note here about the cream, you could use milk I suppose, but I had dipped my finger in the adobo sauce and it was super spicy. Cream helped tone down the spiciness of the sauce while keeping the richness of the squash intact. That is what I wanted. Milk=less calories. Cream=creamy goodness and better flavor. You choose.

At this point you could choose to use hamburger or turkeyburger, etc. but this sauce ain't your mama's enchilada sauce in a can. No Ma'am. Get buck wild! Go in a different direction.
Filling:
1 precooked chicken breast (yes, organic)
1ish cups of Chantrelle mushrooms (no I didn't go out and pick them myself. Costo people!)
2 cups fresh spinach chopped (organic)
Evoo
Cayenne powder to taste
1/4 cup enchilada sauce
Saute everything together in a pan until the mushrooms are just cooked and spinach is wilted.

As we are a family of three, one of whom is 3 years old and has Hand Foot and Mouth Virus at the moment (talk about a total freaking nightmare), I used 8 corn tortillas and saute'd one side of the tortilla in the enchilada sauce and evoo to soften them up.

I grated up 2/3's cup of 3 year old smoked gouda (Costco), filled the tortillas with meat, mushrooms and spinach mixture and layered the enchiladas into a cookie sheet. Down the middle of the enchiladas I spooned more sauce on top of the shells, sprinkled the gouda and put in the oven to bake for 15-20 minutes. I didn't spread the sauce all over the tortillas because I wanted the outside edges to be crispy deliciousness. And they were, they were!
There is nothing not to love about these enchiladas. They are creamy. They are spicy and rich. They are fantastic!

Credit where credit is due, I got this idea from my mom. Mom called to tell me about seeing Emeril make some enchilada dish with a squash this week on tv. So credit by way of mom by way of Emeril this sauce is an inspired delicacy.
As my husband and I were sitting at the table munching our enchiladas (more like inhaling them!), we came up with another idea for this sauce. Because it is thick and spicy and rich already, I am adding 1/2 cup of peanutbutter to it tomorrow night and using it over rice noodles, al dente veggies and shrimp for a thai peanut sauce!

Melissa's Drunken and Smoked Up Fudge

2009-10-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

Melissa's

Drunken & Smoked Up Fudge

Sounds like this fudge has a bit of a substance abuse problem! All I can say is after one taste of this decadent fudge, you may walk away with an addiction of your own...IF you can still walk!

Ingredients:

4 tablespoons unsalted butter

3 1/2 cups granulated sugar

1 1/2 cups heavy cream

1/2 teaspoon salt

16 ounces Ghiradelli Chocolate

1 cup chopped Smoked Almonds

1 1/2 tablespoons Chambord Liquor

1 1/2 teaspoons Creme Fraiche

1/2 teaspoon almond extract

Directions:

Butter an 8-inch square baking pan and line with plastic wrap. Combine 4 tablespoons butter, sugar, cream, and salt in a saucepan. Over medium heat, bring to a boil, stirring frequently. Continue boiling, stirring frequently, to a temperature of 230 degrees F. This will take about 6 to 8 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in chocolate with a whisk until the chocolate is melted and the mixture is smooth. Add 1 cup chopped almonds and the liqueur and flavorings; stir to blend. Pour the mixture into the prepared pan and spread evenly. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until firm, about 2 to 3 hours. Remove the top layer of plastic wrap and flip the pan upside down on a cutting board or platter. Let stand at room temperature for a few minutes then cut into small pieces.

Lacey's Jameson Soaked Raisin Bread Pudding

2009-10-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

First and foremost: Heat up the left over coffee in a mug, pour a knuckles worth of Jameson's in, add some cream and sugar and get yer drink on. Drinking Jameson's while using it to cook is a must. A must.
Second, put 1/2 cup of raisins in a bowl and pour enough of the same Whiskey over them to just drown them. Cover with cellophane and set aside on counter for 48ish hours. Keep drinking those Jameson's and coffee (aka Irish Coffee). They are good and good for ya. I know from personal experience.
Jameson family motto "Sine Metu" - Without Fear. In other words -this Irish Family does not fuck around with their booze making. Drink it at home. At least that way you can stumble to your own bed if you drink too much of it. It can hit you hard and fast and you won't even know it. The good thing about this recipe is that the alcohol bakes off (I think), so it's safe to eat at for breakfast or bring to a potluck. (Slip a flask of the whiskey in your pocket and you're golden).

Ingredients

In a bowl mix the following:
2 cups milk
1 cup cream
vanilla
nutmeg
cinnamon
3/4 cup sugar (I prefer brown but only had white at the moment)
3 eggs
3 tbsp melted butter
1/2 sliced and diced peach (optional)
Jameson soaked raisins and the whiskey they marinated in
Another pull of whiskey (optional, but come on! Do it!)

Cut up half a loaf of french bread and dice it into cubes no bigger than an inch. Dump the bread in the bowl with the liquid and stir it up so bread is evenly coated.

Pour bread mix in a casserole pan. Mine is a pretty green deep set dish that will have to cook longer. I believe this much woulf fit into a 9x9 pan. (At this point I prefer to put the casserole pan in the fridge for 24 hours before I cook it so the milk miture really soaks into the bread and becomes more custard like, but I didn't have time for it today). Bake it for 35ish minutes on 350 degrees. Once the top is crusty and golden it is done.

If you don't have any Jameson's in the house and don't want to spend $25ish for it, you can buy a cheaper brand of whiskey, bourbon or even rum to use. If you don't drink simply leave the alcohol out all together.
I've never met a person who didn't like bread pudding in one form or another. Personally savory bread puddings are my favorite to make and eat, but this was a nice change. And since I had my parents over night it worked out perfectly to serve for breakfast!

Booze Week!!!!!!

2009-10-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

“Scuuuuse me occifer *hiccup*…I didn’t MEAN to drive *hiccup* (while swaying) into the back of your cruuuuusier…I certainly HAVE NOT been drinking…I just had one too many Irish Crème brownies or maybe too much Irish Creme IN my brownies…*hiccup*”

Brownies you say? Yes, brownies. Or whatever food we may whip up with a little booze.

Last week, 3 of the 4 cake recipes were cake-zasters. Maybe we should’ve gotten a little liquored up before we started. Anyway…we love cooking with alcohol. Sometimes, we even put it in the food.

Liquor and liqueur can add a distinctive flavor to both savory and sweet recipes without making you tipsy. There are a vast number of wonderful recipes which use some form of alcohol as an ingredient in sauces, marinades or as a main flavor ingredient. In general, the main reason any alcoholic beverage is used in a recipe is to impart flavor. Alcohol causes many foods to release flavors that cannot be experienced without the alcohol interaction. Beer contains yeast which leavens breads and batters. Some alcoholic beverages can help break down tough fibers via marinades. Other dishes use alcoholic content to provide entertainment, such as flambes and flaming dishes.

Our recipes this week will feature some sort of booze in them. Check back and see what we can do with a little alcohol

In the meantime, click here to enjoy the drinker’s alphabet. Drinker's Alphabet

Now GO!!!! Get ya drink on! (Or your brownies...)

Melissa's Mexican Chocolate Pound Cake

2009-10-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

Melissa's
Mexican Chocolate Pound Cake

Who doesn't love a good pound.....cake? I do. Pound cakes are one of my specialties. But again, my role here is to evoke and encourage you to step outside your comfort zone...push yourself to new culinary heights...bake a pound cake like one has never been baked before! So, this will NOT be your grandmother's traditional, sissy pound cake nibbled with tea or coffee. Oh no, THIS will be a masterpiece of epic proportion....WE ARE USING MEXICAN CHOCOLATE WITH CAYENNE! Yes, we are. YES, you ARE. ....and you will like it!

***WARNING: If you are not familiar with baking pound cakes, I will advise you they are highly temperamental. Do not run, jump, shut a door, walk through your home, have any type of physical relations, turn on the water, multi task of any sort, yell, hell whisper for that matter, or breathe heavy. Your best best is to leave your home from the time you place the cake in the oven until it's time to come out. I am not kidding. I have lost many a pound cake to a good solid Carolina Gamecocks Touchdown. (Think I'm kidding...um, no.) If you do any of these things the cake WILL know. It will fall...Just to prove a point. Pound cakes will throw a two year old temper tantrum and you will be stuck with a pan of half baked, half fallen, half crusty....goo.

So with that said, let's get baking!

INGREDIENTS
1 cup butter
1/2 cup solid vegetable shortening
3 cups sugar
6 eggs
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup Mexican Cocoa with Chilis
1 cup milk
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1/2 tsp. cayenne (YES that says Cayenne...TRUST ME!)

DIRECTIONS
In a large mixing bowl, cream butter and shortening with sugar until fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Combine flour, baking powder, cocoa and cayenne. Add flour mixture alternately with milk and vanilla to the butter mixture. Mix well. Pour into greased tube pan without removable bottom. Bake at 350 degrees F for 1 hour and 20 minutes or until cake tests done. Cool 15 minutes before removing cake from pan. Cool on wire rack.

Now comes the best part. You HAVE to taste test while it's warm. If baked correctly you'll have a nice crispy top crust with an amazing chocolate flavor heightened by the cayenne. This will not burn you a new asshole as one might think, as long as you only use the amounts given.

I will tell you this...I entered this cake in the state fair this year and boy THAT cake gave Judge grandma quite a surprise!!! Bon apetit'!

PS: Unlike my counterparts, this is a successful cake recipe you can absolutley try at home!

Lacey's FML Rainbowish Lemon Drop Cupcakes

2009-10-22T08:06:00.000-07:00

So..Cake week was supposed to be fun. I mean, its cake! I even bought a box of organic cake mix thinking to myself "it's boxed, I cannot screw this up!" Unfortunately sweets+baking=a whole lot of cussing reared its ugly head again and guess what? We tasted the rainbow, but the cupcakes looked more like a crusty rain puddle. Now I cannot say I didn't have fun while making these as I had my 3 year old daughter Gracie help me and she loves to cook, (or mostly get in the way, but who's complaining? I definitely don't want to discourage the girl) but still. I want pretty cupcakes. Not blown out holes in the middle cupcakes!

If you look up rainbow cupcakes on the internet you find these gorgeously colored cupcakes with blues, reds, yellows, etc. and pretty piped frosting on top. They look like a dream and I couldn't wait to make them. So we get our ingredients layed out...boxed organic cake, three eggs, two tbsp melted butter, vanilla, food coloring, lemon drops crushed up in a baggie, cupcake liners, etc.

We mix the boxed cake, eggs, candy, butter...divide the batter up into four bowls, add food coloring to each and stir it up. Next, line the cupcake tin and start spooning in the colored batter in the liners color by color. Pop them in the oven for 12 minutes at 350. Dunzo.
At 12 minutes I look in the oven and see that the cupcakes have WAY overstepped their cupcake liner bounds and are jumping OUT all over the damn place. But they look wet still, shiny. So I let them cook for another two minutes. I mean at this point, what does it matter. They are gonna look like colorful chantrelle mushrooms rather than the perfectly formed visions I saw on the internet.

Apparently the shiny was the three eggs the organic cake mix called for! After thinking about it, WTF is that all about? I've never seen a Betty fucking Crocker call for 3 eggs! Now my cupcakes are cookie on top, cupcake on the bottom. Okay.

I whip the whip cream with sugar and vanilla, add in a ton of the crushed lemon drops and whip some more, so its really stiff. I put all of that into a baggie, cut the tip off and squirt it out onto the cupcake. I was going for a dreamy creamy look, but honestly it looks like soft white dog poop on a colorful chantrelle mushroom on a plate. FML. Gracie wants sprinkles, so we dress the poopshroom up with some purple and pink sugar and eat up.
I gotta say, the cupcake tasted pretty damn good for what they looked like. I am going to buy this boxed cake again to make batter as listed on the box and then make cookies with it. I mean, surely I could do that right? It involves over baking and all...right?

Nikki's Fabulous Weight Loss Mini Carrot Cake Cupcakes!!!

2009-10-21T15:57:00.001-07:00

"Gauranteed to make you lose weight"
*disclaimer, you will only lose weight if your only food option is Nikki's Fabulous Weight Loss Mini Carrot Cake Cupcakes*

I've made carrot cake layered in cream cheese icing several times and am quite convinced that while carrot cake is good, cream cheese frosting was invented by angels who, in their infinite generosity, deigned to share their gloriously luscious creation with us mere mortals who are entirely undeserving of its magnificence... in other words: cream cheese frosting is YUM! However I am attempting to be healthy and have been thinking about making a healthified version of carrot cake for awhile. Also I love anything in miniature, there's something about bite sized foods that make my heart go pitter pat... maybe its the fact that I can eat THREE bite sized brownies/cookies/cupcakes/perogis for every ONE normal size one... and three is way better than one... right? So, I geared up to create the most amazingly delicious desert that anyone had ever tasted. I had already invisioned myself handing out the beautiful little confections to my friends and coworkers, being ever so modest as they showered me with compliments, sharing in their astonoshment that these dainty morsels of ambrosial perfection were actually *gasp* HEALTHY!

yeah... it didnt quite go like that...

I started with my basic carrot cake recipe that has never failed me before, it calls for such fattening delights as buttermilk, oil, butter, cream cheese and above all SUGAR! I started editing from there and decided that I could sub out applesauce & mashed banana for the oil, and since those are so sweet on their own I surely wouldn't need sugar. I replaced the buttermilk with greek yogurt and replaced some of the white flour with a Bob's Red Mill high fiber cereal. I guess I should have sensed that this wasn't going to work out after my new gadget didnt work... I found this mandoline style slicer/grater thingy for only $3.99 at my local discount store... yes I do realize that if its $3.99 there's a reason... and its not that the benevolent manufacturers created such an amazing product that they just HAD to share it with the world with no concern about profit... anyway it was plastic and POSSIBLY would be good for grating something really soft... like velveta... although that might still be to hard... but never fear I have my black & decker handy chopper and although it took several batches to come up with 2 cups of carrots they were perfectly evenly pulverized... I added all my ingredients (seriously they tasted so bad I'm not going to bother giving you the breakdown... you don't want to know it!) and tasted the dough... it wasn't bad... it wasn't a dainty morsel of ambrosial perfection yet... but hey my regular carrot cake isn't really that amazing uncooked either.

So I lined my mini muffin pan with cheerful rainbow liners and filled them with the dough, popped them in my oven and sat back to wait for the magic to happen... They smelled amazing which I decided was a preliminary indicator of their impending magnificence. After checking them several times I decided they weren't going to fully set no matter how long they baked so I pulled them out, let them cool a few minutes and (slighlty giddily) took the first bite... and almost spit it out... This couldnt be! My perfect little treats were... BITTER?!?!?! I tasted another one (yeah yeah I know they all came from the same bowl of dough, if one is nasty they all are gonna be... but a girl can hope right?) that one was gross too so that batch went in the trash. After agonizing consideration I decided that I should add some sugar... not a lot, just 1/3 cup to balance the bitterness a bit... enough that I was already feeling the first twinges of failure though... these would not be the perfectly healthy delights I had envisioned... That didnt work either and I finally gave up for the night. I froze the remaining dough just in case I come up with a blast of inspiration on how to fix it (suggestions? anyone?) cleaned up the mess and got a glass of wine to console myself... I take culinary imperfection very personally...

I won't go into detail on how I managed to screw up the cream cheese icing... suffice it to say it wasn't much better than the cupcakes...

CAKE!

2009-10-16T10:37:00.000-07:00

Cupcakes, birthday cakes, spiced cakes, fondant cakes, boxed cakes, scratch cakes, Cake the band. Millions of kinds of cakes. It’s sweet, it’s fluffy, it’s delicious. Sometimes it's even nutritious. Wedding cakes, anniversary cakes, better-than-sex-cakes and now divorce cakes. There are Beefcakes, piece of cakes, and loving you like fat kids love cakes. We heart cakewalks. And we let them eat cakes! Ode to CAKE!

Up next week: Alcohol! Yeay us!

Nikki's Savory Sausage Squash Casserole

2009-10-08T17:26:00.000-07:00

Ok a quick disclaimer: you're going to see me do a LOT of cooking with italian sausage. Aside from the fact that every girl loves a bit of sausage (wink wink) italian sausage is an EXTREMELY easy ingrediant to cook with, its pre-seasoned, you can serve it whole, slice it into chunks or squeeze it out of the skins and use it as ground meat. It also adds a lot of flavor for a small cost to everything from soups to burgers to casseroles. I don't have a ton of discretionary income for fancy spices and I'm perpetually either running late home from work or making dinner in the middle of finishing up work (hubby's not such a fan of the air card that enables me to access work email 24-7... sorry babe, a girls gotta stay connected in the corporate world!) so I need easy ingrediants that give a ton of flavor for minimal effort & cost.

Now that thats out of the way, ON TO THE COOKING! woo hoo!

Now aside from my love of sausage, I also love finding alternative healthier ingrediants for really filling foods. Most casseroles call for things like cream of chicken or mushroom soup (holy high sodium!), potatoes or pastas, what I'm going to share with you today uses squash with just a little milk & eggs to bind it all together. If you've never had squash before or have and weren't a fan, stay with me here, I gaurantee this is going to taste 1,000 times better than what you're imagining right now!

Oh and before I start I'll add a disclaimer for any vegetarians out there, this dish can very easily be converted to veggie-friendly by replacing the suasage with mushrooms. Keep in mind though that I'm using the sausage for much of my flavor so you'll want to add more seasings. I'd recomend 1-2 tsp each italian seasoning, cumin, salt & pepper, and double the chili powder & red pepper flakes that I'm using.

You'll need one small or half of a large butternut squash. Cut the squash in half and scoop the seeds out of the bell part. If you're one of those that shouldn't be trusted with sharp objects (you know who you are!) please have a loved one handle this part... Now put the squash cut side down into a baking dish with about 1 inch of water and stick it in the oven at 375 for 40-45 minutes or until you can very easily pierce it with a fork.

While the squash is baking you can start on the rest of the casserole. You'll need about a pound of hot italian sausage. Normally I go for turkey but the regular pork sausage links were on sale this week so thats what I'll be using. Squeeze the meat out of the skins and put in a big skillet (if you're using turkey I'd recommend spraying with Pam first!) and break into chunks. Cook over medium-high heat continuing to break apart until there's no more pink. This sausage is a bit greasy so I'm putting it on a plate with some paper towels to soak up some of it.

Pour off the excess grease then put 1 small onion, diced, into the skillet to cook over medium-high heat. I didn't clean out the skillet so that I wouldnt need to add any more oil & so the onions would absorb some of the flavorings. If you're using turkey the you'll need to add some oil. Add about 1 tablespoon of diced garlic and allow to cook.

While the onions cook dice up 3-4 sweet bell peppers (you want about 1 cup). Now I'll share my top secret way to cut peppers with ease... I think I saw it on some Food Network show... anway:
1) slice off the very top of the pepper (don't worry if the stem is still attached)
2) turn the pepper and slice off the very bottom
3) make a cut straight down the side
4) peel the pepper away from the seeds & stem and discard
5) vioala! you now have a nice sheet of pepper that is rediculously easy to slice into strips :)
Toss the peppers into the onions and add 1 cup of frozen corn. Cook over medium heat until everything is heated through and add 1 tsp chili powder & 1 tsp red pepper flakes and toss the sausage into the mix. Remove from heat and set aside while you deal with the squash.

In a medium sized bowl combine two egg whites with two whole eggs and mix them up well.

At this point the squash should be done baking (can you easily stick a fork in it?) carefully take it out of the oven and scoop the insides out. When I say carefully... I really mean it... its HOT! Put a very little bit of the hot squash guts into the eggs to temper them (if you dump all the squash in at once it'll start cooking them and you'll have chunks of scrambled eggs in your casserole... which you might like... however its not what I was going for... Anyway add just a little bit at first then dump the rest in and mix it up. You can use a hand mixer, however I just LOVE any opportunity to use one of my FAVORITE cooking gadgets: the pastry cutter!!! (cue angels!). Now I'm not sure that I've ever used the pastry cutter for actual pastry cutting... however its EXCELLENT for making chunky mashed potatos or sweet pototo soufle... and it looks like an impressive cooking tool... Mix the squash & eggs together and add about 1/4 cup milk (I used 1%) then add the meat & veggies, give them a stir and dump them out into a casserole dish (pre-sprayed with Pam). Top with about 1/2 cup shredded low fat cheese & another tsp of chili powder and stick that bad boy back in the oven at 375 for 20 minutes and you have dinner!

One of the things I love about squash is its versatility, this recipe was adapted from a similar one that called for potatoes (it also tripled the cheese & added cream of chicken soup but we won't go there today) If you're watching your carbs & calories squash is a GREAT tradeoff and can be used in a TON of different things. Squash has half of the calories & carbs as potatoes and in this recipe if you didnt know the squash was there all you'd notice is a orangey color that most would attribute to more cheese. Don't get me wrong now I love potatoes in all of their baked, fried & smushed forms, and potatoes DO have twice the protein & potassium, but to shave off some extra calories I'll gladly make this swap :)

2009-10-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

Melissa’s "Q+FM”

Is your curiosity peaked? Are you wondering? Do I have your undivided attention? Hmmm? I mean anything goes in THIS column, right? Sounds like a bad word doesn’t it? …or something you’d create in the bathroom, not the kitchen. (She giggles.) Well, this week, you’re safe…this IS in fact, created in the kitchen, with all natural, (hehe), EDIBLE, ingredients. What were you thinking? Jeez…

Over the weekend, we welcomed friends from out of town to our home. While planning for their visit, I was also planning this week’s casserole column. I thought what better way to welcome our friends down south, and combine my two tasks at hand, than with some ole’ fashioned southern comfort food! (They’re Yankees. We forgive them for that.) To me, comfort food=casserole = none other than Mac N Cheese! I mean really guys, what else?

Wait! What? The Gourmet is going to make…macaroni and cheese? Absolutely! Macaroni and cheese has gotten a bad crap wrap since the invention of the crap in a box…no offense Kraft. Trust me, in this recipe you will not find a cardboard box, or any packets of cheese like powdered substances. You KNOW any old mac n cheese, simply will not do here. What we need to do is add some pizzazz! We need umph! We need to be creative and let our real, unprocessed, cheeses flow! WE are going to create a masterpiece of pasta and cheese, an adulterous affair of beautiful, sexy, flavors…we are going to create…drum roll please… Quattro+ Formaggio Macaroni.

Ingredients
1 tablespoon olive oil
1-inch thick piece pancetta, cut into small dice
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 cans evaporated milk
3 eggs
2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh chives
1 teaspoon paprika
2 1/2 cups freshly grated Asiago cheese , plus more for the top
1 1/2 cups New York Cheddar
1/2 cups Shropshire Blue (Or your favorite Bleu Cheese)
1 cup grated Fontina cheese, plus more for the top
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano, plus more for the top
½ cup Grated Percorino
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 pound elbow macaroni, cooked
1/2 cup coarsely chopped flat-leaf parsley

Directions
Preheat your oven to 350 and butter your bottom…of the dish. Although that does give me some ideas for later…Heat your oil in a large sauté pan over medium heat and brown the pancetta until crisp. Place your pancetta on a separate plate reserving your cooking oil to begin your roux, a fancy name for crap that will thicken your mac n cheese. Whisk the flour into the reserved oil and cook for 1 to 2 minutes. Then whisk in your evaporated milk, increase your heat and continue whisking constantly until your mixture is thickened. You now have a roux. Next, whisk in the eggs until incorporated and let cook for 1 to 2 minutes. Remove from the heat and whisk in the herbs and seasonings, and all of the cheese until completely melted. If you want to add some cheese to the top, reserve about ½ cup for that purpose. If not, throw it all in.
Place the cooked macaroni in a large bowl, add the cheese sauce, pancetta and parsley and stir well. Next put the mixture into your buttered bottom dish. If you reserved cheese for the top, add it now. Bake your mac n cheese until the top is lightly golden brown, 15-20 minutes. Remove from the oven and enjoy!

Now there is the REAL way to enjoy REAL macaroni with REAL cheese. Now that you have no excuses on how to prepare or enjoy REAL mac, n REAL cheese, please don’t let me catch you with any cardboard boxes in the future. It could get ugly. Save those for the recycling plant!

Lacey's Mixed up Vegetarian Lasagna Casserole

2009-10-04T17:42:00.000-07:00

I don't make many casseroles, but when I do I make them on Sunday night so all I have to do when I get home Monday is pop them in the oven to cook. I don't know what it is about Monday nights but by the time I get home I am dead ass tired and want nothing more than to sit down and not move until it's time to go to bed. I've got a few casseroles up my sleeves that I can make on a dime, but for this week's blog posting I really wanted to try something different. Plus I had a major hankering for lasagna but did not want to go to the trouble of making it.

Casserole = Yummyness in a pan, easy and quick. Lasagna = Delicious, not easy and definitely not quick. Oh and to make a lasagna usually means spending about $25ish in cold hard cash. Luckily this time I had every single ingredient already in the fridge or my garden. Another thing I look for in a casserole is the "one stop meal" effect. I don't want to have to make anything else with it. I want all the food groups covered in that one pot. This recipe fits that bill nicely.

I perused the internet and found a recipe by that blonde mogul everyone loves to hate even though we all use her recipes and products. She calls it Pasta Cake. Since I'm not flipping mine out of a springform pan onto a cake plate for a dinner party, I'm calling mine a casserole. So take that you...you...Rich Bitch! Ha!

My recipe is a bit different than the one on the internet, here it is:
Pasta - I used left over fresh scraps from raviolis I made a week ago. I'd say it was about 3 cups worth.
Ricotta cheese - I had fat free, the smaller container
Parmesan cheese - 1 cup grated (I used Grana Padana) -keep 1/4 cup aside for topping the casserole
Eggs - three organic
Fresh Tomatoes - 6-8 chopped up (from my garden)
Eggplant - one..or you can use zucchini (from my garden)
Spinach - chopped. Three cups if you were to stuff it into a measuring cup
Garlic - 6-8 cloves chopped into chunks
Onion - one whole chopped
Evoo as needed for pan
Spices - italian seasoning, salt, pepper
(An even easier version of this recipe would be to substitute out the fresh veggies for canned diced tomatoes, and hamburger, turkey burger or sausage).

I also had some butternut squash left over and chunked it up and added it to the mix - don't. It was too dry after cooking. (I'm just adding this because you might see it in the pics below).

Turn oven on 425, chop up tomatoes, onion, garlic and eggplant. Toss lightly in evoo, spread over a cookie sheet and roast for about 25 minutes.

Boil your pasta in water and about 1 tbsp salt (trust me, it really does make all the flavor difference if you add alot of salt) and 1/4 tsp evoo so the noodles don't stick together.

In a large bowl, mix eggs, ricotta, about 1/2 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp pepper and 1 tbsp italian seasoning. Once the veggies are done roasting, add them and the pasta to this bowl and mix everything together. Coat a 9x12 pan (or a large round one like I've got), dump all the ingredients in and spread out flat. Sprinkle the rest of the Parm on top and bake at 350 for about 30 minutes or until bubbling and golden brown.

Once out of the oven, let the casserole sit for about 5-10 minutes to both cool and set up. Slice it up and let your family dig in. Not only have you saved time, you will probably have left overs for lunch the next day or another dinner later in the week.

Ladies, It's Casserole Week!

2009-09-29T09:35:00.000-07:00

Casseroles in America are a Wham! Bam! Thank YOU Ma’am! style cooking. Cheap, easy, quick and dirty. On Wiki someone defines casseroles as a dish containing a meat, vegetables, a starchy binder and possibly vegetable stock or booze (might be) added along the way. STOP RIGHT THERE! Booze in a casserole?? That is our kind of cooking! Alas, Booze Week is coming up soon, so we’ll just drink the alcohol we’ve stocked up on in preparation while we cook and look forward to the day. Hmm...We’d better add a bottle to the grocery list because it’s lookin’ a little low.

Okay back to Casseroles. Sorry. Our minds wander. Casseroles are today's working woman's chance to emulate the 1950's Efficient Housewife. They can be made in minutes – boil noodles, add tuna and cream of mushroom soup, stir and done. They are a great way to use up leftover meat and probably one of the most cost effective ways to feed a family. And the range! Noodles, potatoes, tortillas, vegetables, beans, what doesn’t go in or hasn’t been used to make a casserole?

Let’s face it ladies, when you’ve had a long day at work, there wasn’t enough caffeine in the world, your kids are screaming and your feet hurt from walking in heels, casseroles are a fucking quick meal. They just scream Monday night. So whip one up, put it in the oven to bake and sit down to enjoy a glass of wine...or a dry vodka martini with two olives, one onion. Either way, kick off those heels, enjoy that glass of muscle relaxer and make a casserole!

Nikki's Ultimate Comfort Food: The Sandwich(es)

2009-09-29T07:50:00.000-07:00

When initially presented with the challenge of coming up with a sandwich recipe I started thinking big: maybe a panini with fresh basil, mozarella, sun dried tomatos, a fancy home-made sauce.... Then I really considered it and realized that for me a sandwhich is all about convenience and above all: comfort. Realistically I'm not going to put that much effort in a sandwich, I just throw crap in between two slices of bread and take a big bite... if its not working I add more crap... the other day for example I ended up with sharp white cheddar cheese, 4 bbq chips, 3 cheddar sour cream chips, lettuce & green peppers... it was pretty damn tasty... and about as gourmet as I'll ever get with a sandwich. So rather than create something spectacularly new that I'll never make again I'm going to share my go-to sandwiches for cruddy days:

Grilled Cheese (to be served with tomato soup of course)
Ingredients:
2 slices of good hearty bread (I'm using whats left of my pumpkin oat-nut bread)
1-2 slices of sharp cheddar cheese (NO american cheese allowed!!)
butter
non-stick skillet with a lid
spatula for flipping

Ok now that we've assembled our ingredients, lightly butter the pieces of bread on one side only, place one slice of bread, buttered side down, on a skillet over medium-high heat (if you dont use a non-stick pan I'd spray some pam in there first!) next layer on some good sharp cheddar cheese and top with the second slice of bread, buttered side up and put the lid on the pan (the lid traps the heat and helps the cheese melt... if you MUST use American cheese leave the lid off, it doesn't need help melting... better yet throw it away and go buy some real cheese...). Allow to cook for about 1 1/2 minutes, remove lid and flip. If the cheese is fully melted then leave the lid off, if not then put the lid back on until it is. If you have to put the lid back on you'll want to flip the sandwich over and re-brown the top because the lid also traps moisture and a proper grilled cheese sandwich must have a little bit of a crisp to it :) Allow the bottom to cook until it gets to you liking, I like mine with a little char, then plate it up and serve with tomato soup. Delish and perfect for a chilly fall day!

My next sandwich is one I concocted as comfort food. When I was little my mom would smear peanut butter on bananas for snacks, that has stuck as one of my favorite comfort foods but after seeing a seeing an Elvis sandwich on a menu once (that one had bacon... I'm not so sure about that!) I realized it could be so much more :)

Nikki's Elvis Sandwich:
Ingredients:
2 slices of bread (again I'm using my pumpkin oat-nut bread)
peanut butter
honey
1/3 of a banana, cut into very thin peices
cinnamon

First lightly toast your bread (you dont want it super crunchy, this is mostly just to heat it up) then spread a nice thick layer of peanut butter on one slice of bread, layer on your banana slices and drizzle with honey. Sprinkle just a dash of cinnamon on top and put the other slice on top, and enjoy!

I hope you enjoy my favorite sandwiches :)

2009-09-29T07:08:00.000-07:00

Melissa's

Eggin’ Pancetta Croissant

Sandwich = crap shoved and/or stuck between two holding objects, usually of a bread nature. Well that sounds like a culinary adventure… NOT! BUT…it could be!

Welcome to the wonderful world of sandwiching, more affectionately known as Sammies. Sammies can provide you with everything from a quick grab and go lunch to a full meal for the masses. And again, the possibilities are quite endless.

In determining which Sammie I’d share with you today, I took a family poll. I asked them, “What’s your favorite sandwich of all time?” to which they responded with a, “You have GOT to be kidding me…” stare. I was quite confused for a moment knowing we had all eaten sammies at some point in our lives. Finally the cloud was cleared when my teenage daughter, in her infinite wisdom, said, “mom, I have eaten at least a million sandwiches, how can I possibly pick a favorite?” It was actually quite an eye opener. “Would you like me to pick a wrap, a panini, subs, muffaletta or do ice cream sandwiches count?”

Hubby responded in much the same way. “Well I like that one you make with the peanut butter, apple and bacon and then I really like just a good old grilled cheese or a PB&J. But, oh I like the turkey clubs too and the Monte Cristo with the turkey and apricot preserves. Does that include wrap and subs? And Oh, what about Philly Cheesesteaks or a good burger…is THAT a sandwich?” OK. OK. I get the point.

After much debate on the home front I decided to share one of my personal favorites that begins with a simple egg salad, but adds a little gourmet flare with a little crispy pancetta. Today our culinary adventure in sandwiches will take us to the far corners of the kitchen cutting board to create the ultimate Eggin’ Pancetta Croissant!

Eggin’ Pancetta Croissant

6 hard boiled eggs
¼ cup mayo with olive oil
3 tablespoons sweet pickle juice
12 slices pancetta (Italian bacon that has been cured in salt and spices and then air-dried. )
6 butter croissants
Salt & pepper to taste

Begin your egg salad by mashing your boiled eggs. I like them a little chunky, but that’s personal preference. Next, mix in your mayo, pickle juice and salt and pepper. Blend well and chill. I meant chill the egg salad, not you! You’re making a delicious Sammie…You can chill later WITH your sammie! Next, place your pancetta in a pan and brown until slightly crisp, like you would prepare bacon. Finally, assemble your Sammie on the croissants with a little lettuce on the bottom, then the pancetta, then top with a nice scoop of egg salad. These are awesome for picnics and for a light spring luncheon or brunch. They also keep well wrapped in plastic wrap in the fridge.

Yes, we’re done. NOW you can go chill with Sammie in hand! Bon appetit’!

PS: I apologize for the lack of photos with this recipe. Some were mutilated in the making of this Sammie. Then I figured, hey, you guys KNOW what boiled eggs look like right?

Lacey's S(eductive)AND(evilishly)W(ondrous)-ICH Sandwich

2009-09-27T18:22:00.000-07:00

What!? you say can possibly be seductive about a sandwich? Ask you husband or significant other about what makes you sexy in a hot dress? He'll say in not so many words that the dress hugs your curves, your cleavage shows just enough to keep him looking, and the Sexy As Hell F*ck Me Stilletos give you the confidence to pull it all off. In guy-speak: Baby you should wear that dress and those shoes all-the-time!

Sandwiches can be simple just like a tshirt and jeans, or they can be more exciting like that hot dress and stilletos with a few simple substitutions. By "dressing up" a few of the ingredients we can easily improvise the rest - just like we do every morning we go into our closets and flip thru the hangers until we find something to wear.

Today, we go meatless...we're going to go lite on the spreads and add a little cheese instead (Hey! I rhymed!)

Ingredients:
Dress up the bread - buy something hearty like a baguette of sourdough or artisan bread with herbs. If you don't use all of the bread for these sandwiches, freeze the rest in an air tight bag for later. There are lots of things you can do with bread. For this recipe I'll be using the bread I made in last weeks blog. Slice the bread into 1/4-1/2" thick pieces. Lay 4 pieces flat on a cookie sheet. Preheat oven to lo broil.

Cheese - you don't have to spend alot of money on cheese to have it taste good. Dubliner's Cheddar or a nice Gouda cheese is always great to have in the fridge. For sandwiches I prefer to use a cheese that is strong in flavor because we often eat meatless sandwiches. Also, I like a variety that isn't going to make the sandwich soggy (that isn't sexy at all). I used some Grana Padana (similar to Parmesano Regiano) and some Sage infused Cheddar (the green stuff in the pics below). Slice cheese into 1/8"ish slices, place on top of bread.

Spread - rather than use mayo or mustard, make your own healthier and more flavorful version: 1/2 cup nonfat plain yogurt (I used greek)
1/4 cup olive oil
1 egg yolk
2 tbsp grey poupon
1 tsp lemon juice
2 garlic cloves
1 tsp spices - use what you like. I usually have italian seasonings on hand, so I used them.
Salt and Pepper to taste. I prefer to use a good sea salt.
Place all the above sauce ingredients in a blender/food processor and blend long enough for the garlic to get chopped up.

Once blending process is done, place sauce in an airtight container and put in fridge. The egg will help keep the olive oil and other ingredients emulsified. Once the sauce gets cold it will be approximately the same thickness as grey poupon. If kept in a good container in the fridge, this will last up to two weeks.

Slice two tomatoes and place on top of cheese, stick these into the oven until cheese is melted and bread is slightly toasted.

While the bread/cheese/tomato combo is broiling, slice up some lettuce (preferably not iceberg since it is essentially worthless in terms of nutrition). I had a lemon cucumber from the garden, so I sliced it up too. As for lettuce, it will be a deep red and green for me. Put it in a bowl, or on the cutting board and drizzle with some good balsamic and evoo, add a little sea salt and pepper. Mix it up. If you don't have balsamic, you can sub in some salad dressing. But we're trying to go lite here, so don't pick a heavy dressing. The cheese and the sauce spread will be strong in flavor already.

Once the cheese and bread is toasty, take it out of the oven and let cool. Place bottom halves on a plate, top with your homemade spread, layer the lettuce salad (and cuke if you added it) and top with the upper slice of bread.

At this point if you are salivating at the aromas and beautiful colors in front of you, eat away..but part of making a Sexy and Devilishly Wondrous Sandwich that will give your hubby the "ich" is all about presentation. I picked up an oblong recycled glass platter at Target on clearance for $7.99 the other day, and it is perfect for this meal. Layer your sandwiches on the platter, add any leftover salad in a pretty pile on one end/side and wipe off any drips or drops that landed on the plate.

Place it in the middle of your dinner table, fill a couple glasses of good wine, light a candle or two..put on an unstained shirt, maybe even some cute high heels and tell your man that dinner's on the table. And don't be surprised if you hear him say "Baby, you should make these all the time!"

Sandwiches, a Staple of Survival

2009-09-23T09:24:00.000-07:00

While trying to write this week’s blog description, I decided to see what the “official” definition of a sandwich was. I was overwhelmed by what came up when I typed “define: sandwich” into google:

1. To insert or squeeze tightly between two people or objects
2. A Filipino rock band that was formed in 1995
3. A town in Barnstable County, Massachusetts
4. A 2006 Bollywood comedy film
5. A parliamentary constituency in Kent
6. sexual behaviour involving more than two participants at the same time (yes, it said that!)
and…
7. two (or more) slices of bread with a filling between them

This week’s blog is focused on the latter of the definitions I found. Although, you just might find a couple of other sandwiches thrown in there…ice cream sandwich, or knuckle sandwich if things don’t go well! Sandwiches have evolved a lot from when I used to have them as a child. There are SO many types of breads, veggies, meats, cheeses and spreads that are acceptable sandwich components now days! It no longer has to be plain old sliced bread…there’s Ciabatta bread, pita, wraps, croissants, you name it! American cheese? Puh-leez! Now we use artisan cheese like chevre, havarti, manchego, and gorgonzola. Meats are still kind of limited, as I do not believe God created any new animals to slaughter but we still have beef, poultry, venison, buffalo, fish, lamb, etc. And spreads can be fancy mustards and mayos, or dressings, you get the picture. Sandwich combinations are limitless! I used to eat a sandwich with American cheese and strawberry jam. So see? You are only limited by your own imagination! So this week we offer you the four chick’s sandwiches. And no. I’m not referring to definition number 6 above. Contain your disappointment. Because once you read our sandwich blogs you will want to rush into the kitchen and make a sandwich of your own!

Nikki's Savory Oat-Nut Pumpkin Bread

2009-09-21T13:03:00.000-07:00

Ok so I love bread. I mean, I love ALL bread, whole wheat and white, rye and pumpernickel, sweet breads, savory breads, muffins, croissants, you name it, I'll scarf it down :) now... MAKING bread on the other hand... just the idea is enough to break out in hives while rushing to Panera to buy a fancy loaf, to heat up in the oven and claim I baked it (yes I have done that... and no, no one believed me...) the one and ONLY time I ever attempted to make bread I was 19 and had the bright idea to make a Thanksgiving dinner, from scratch, for 10 friends with little to no assistance and in between the mayhem I suddenly remembered my bread dough that I had left rising on the counter. I went to inspect it and it was just sitting there, looking exactly as I had left it... not even an 1/8th bigger... I poked at it a bit, choked back a few tears... and sent a friend to super walmart for rolls... it was an extremely disheartening experience and was one of my first real failures in the kitchen and I don't believe I had recovered from it...

So with MUCH trepidation I began researching online. My favorite breads are rich, and dense, moist and flavorful with just a touch of sweet. I looked outside and saw the leaves on the trees beginning to turn and a bit of a chill on the breeze and decided that pumpkin should definitely be involved. The only problem: google "pumpkin bread recipe" and you will find 1,370,000 hits for different variations of sweet dessert-style pumpkin breads. This created a slight problem as I had no clue what ratios of pumpkin vs. flour i would need. So I began hunting down savory breads with other moist ingredients like sour cream, cottage cheese, applesauce, ect... After much research, and more than a little nervousness I wrote my basic recipe, assembled my ingredients and got started:

My first step was to put yeast in "warm-not-hot water". This proposed a bit of a challenge as my city's water tastes AWFUL so I used water from my brita pitcher which is cold, so I nuked it but I overnuked it (remember, "warm-not-hot"!) so I had to add more cold water, then pour off the extra, then I thought it was too cold so I stuck it back in the microwave for 5 seconds... I began to get nervous, this was already turning into an ordeal! I finally got the water to what I approximated to be "warm-not-hot" and dumped my packet of yeast in, stirred it up with a fork and then stared at it...

it didn't seem to be doing anything so I gave it another stir and stared some more... realistically only about 45 seconds passed but it seemed an eternity of nothing happened and my nervousness began to escalate to pre-panic mode... Finally I do what any sane girl does when she's freaking out about a recipe: (cue trumpets) I called Melissa! who didn't answer (booooo!) Next step is call my favoritest aunt who lives in Alabama and is a PHENOMENAL cook. She answers on the first ring (see Melissa, SHE was prepared for my panic!) I explain my ordeal and she says well you used "warm-not-hot" water right? (I love how this phrase is said as if its one word...) I said yes (very confidently of course, no need to let on to my "warm-not-hot" issues) then she says well all you need is the yeast the "warm-not-hot" water and sugar... Wait wait wait, why do I need sugar? she then explains that I need to "feed the yeast" or the bread won't rise... what's up with that?? this is a very high maintenance ingredient... I add a teaspoon of brown sugar, stir it up a little and stare at it... Aunt Diane nicely explains that it takes a few minutes and to just leave it be and move on to the next part of my bread... I think she just didn't want to listen to me breathe in her ear while I waited for the yeast to jump up and sing showtunes like that frog on that old cartoon (remember? "hello my baby hello my darling..." yes? no?) so I move on to the oat-nut flour.

In my handy little black & decker power chopper I throw in 1/2 cup of walnut halves and 1/2 cup of quick oats and pulse until its ground up fine... I make it 2 pulses before rushing back to check on the yeast, and GUESS WHAT!!! it DID something!!! nothing so cool as singing showtunes (how great would that be?? better than grilled cheese Mary!!) but it had developed a thin layer of foamy stuff that took it from the 1/4 cup mark to the 1/3 cup mark!!! Look!!

After confirming with my aunt that that's what its supposed to be doing I let her go and commenced with the breadmaking. Out comes my fabulously beautiful Kitchenaid Stand Mixer (any day that I get to use my Kitchenaid is a good day in my book, I inherited it from my Grandma who aside from being a really cool lady was an amazing cook, I spent many a summer watching and learning from her!). I finished pulsing the oats & walnuts to a fine powder I set aside about 3 tbs of the powder and dumped the rest in the bowl along with 2 cups of pumpkin from a can (mark this date my friends this is one of the few times you will ever see me use something from a can!!) my yeast-water mixture (which by this point has foamed up so much I'm worried it might start spilling over the sides of the cup!) 1/3 cup brown sugar, 1/4 tsp of baking soda, 1 tbs cinnamon, 1 tsp salt, and 1/2 cup of Hodgson Mills Gluten Free baking mix (it has good stuff like flax in it) and I start the mixer.

Once everything was mixed together nicely I began adding flour. Now I was told a few very important things about the flour one: there IS a difference between regular white flour and bread flour. I looked around and found Bob's Red Mill Unbromated (whatever that means) Unbleached White Flour and I will tell you I bought it mostly because it specifically said "Superb for breadmaking by hand or machine" now if Bob says something is superb, I trust him, he's never steered me wrong before (side note: have you SEEN how many different varieties of flour he makes??? I saw green pea, hazelnut and coconut!!) The other important thing I was told (by my aunt) was that you should make sure at least half of your dry ingredients are normal flour so that you'll have a "finer crumb"... I have no idea what that means but I made sure that I countered the cup of oat-nut mixture and the 1/2 cup of Hodgson Mills with at least that much white flour. Anyway so I started adding the flour a half cup at a time into the mixer until the dough started to hold together in a ball (I had added 2 1/2 cups) I sprinkled a light layer of flour on my counter and slapped my dough ball on the counter and began kneaing it, adding a little bit more flour any time it seemed too sticky (all together there was about 3 cups of flour in my bread) I kneaded it for about 8 minutes, until all the flour was incorporated into the dough and it wasn't overly sticky.

Now for the scary part: I spread a little butter into a big bowl, stuck the dough in the bowl and lightly covered it with plastic wrap. And then I stared at it...
After a few minutes of nothing happening I finally left it be and cleaned up the kitchen then went to read for the hour it was supposed to rise. After my hour was up I rushed back to the kitchen and IT ROSE!!!!! I cannot tell you how excited I was, I actually had to go back through my camera to check and make sure it really was bigger! So a bunch of the recipes I looked at said to punch it down, re-cover and let it rise again for "a finer crumb" agian, I have no clue what that is but I'll go with it. I punched it down (breadmaking is therapeutic, I mean when you kneed it you really put your strength in there and then you get to beat it and on top of that you get a lovely sense of accomplishment when you see its doubled in size!) I covered it up again and pored myself a celebratory glass of wine and went back to my book (book 3 in the Twilight series if you're wondering...) and after 40 minutes i peeked again and will wonders never cease? it rose AGAIN!

I pulled the dough out (after very lightly dusting my counter again) and rolled it into a rectangle roughly 9x12 and then using my pizza cutter I sliced it into three strips, leaving the tops attached.

I then braided the strips (this part is a bit of a pain) and tucked the ends under the dough and transported it to my buttered cookie sheet, covered it again and went back to the vamps. after another 40 minutes I came back and yet AGAIN it had nearly doubled in size! (I wonder if that works on other things? beat on it, ignore it and it doubles in size? your thoughts?)

I pre-heated my oven to 375, cracked an egg in a bowl and whipped it with a fork and spread a light layer on the bread (I had to use a spatula, my nifty basting brush has gone missing... I suspect the dogs...) then sprinkled the oat-nut powder, a little bit of brown sugar, a little bit of cinnamon and some more non-ground up oats on top and stuck it in the oven for about 35 minutes.

I pulled it out and tapped and was rewarded with a lovely hollow sound, signaling proper done-ness, let it cool and sliced a piece off to share with hubby (cue angels singing) it tasted great! not overwhelmingly pumpkiny but rich and dense, a bread that won't get lost in a sandwich. Hubby rated it an A plus :)

So Nikki's official recipe for Savory Oat-Nut Pumpkin Bread:

1 packet active dry yeast
1/4 cup warm-not-hot water
1 tsp plus 1/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup walnut halves
1/2 cup oatmeal
1/2 cup Hodgeson Mills Baking Mix (really not necessary but I had it in the cupboard, sub another 1/2 cup flour if you don't use this)
2 cups canned pumpkin
1 tbs cinnamon
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 egg
1 greased/buttered bowl
1 greased/buttered baking sheet
plastic wrap
mix yeast and 1 tsp brown sugar into warm-not-hot-water, set aside for 5 minutes
put oats and walnuts into food processor and pulse into a fine powder, reserve 3 tbs for topping
Check to ensure yeast is foaming up (ie: alive) if so pour into a large mixing bowl, add oat-nut flour, baking mix (if you're using it), pumpkin, cinnamon, salt and baking powder. Blend until mixed. Add flour, 1/2 cup at a time until dough forms a ball.
Place dough on a floured surface and kneed for 8-10 minutes adding flour in small increments until its no longer really sticky. Form into a ball and place in greased bowl, loosely cover with plastic wrap and set in a warm place (I pre-heated my oven to 200 then turned it off and kept the bowl near the burner that the oven vents out of) leave for 1 hour. recommend cleaning up the mess you made of the kitchen during this hour... but if you're not as messy as me (I'm really messy) you can find other more... constructive... things to do with the time...
After the hour is up return to the bowl and you will see it has doubled in size! (woo hoo!!!) punch the dough down a few times and re-form the ball, cover again and leave it for about 45 minutes (until it doubles again)
** This next part is optional, if you don't want a braid just stick the dough in a greased loaf pan (its a lot of dough you might need two loaf pans...) and skip on to the cover/let rise part**
Take dough out and put it on a lightly floured surface, roll it out to a 12x9 rectangle, cut into 3 strips, leaving the tops attached and braid. Fold the ends under and carefully transfer to a greased cookie sheet. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let it rise for 45 minutes.
Preheat oven to 375. Lightly beat egg and spread on top of bread dough sprinkle oat-nut flour, more oats, a little brown sugar, and cinnamon (use your taste/judgement, if you want a lot sprinkle a lot!) and bake for 35-40 minutes (until bread sounds hollow when you tap it) place on wire rack and allow to cool, slice it up and serve it however you wish, I toasted it and topped it with butter & honey:

Melissa's "F" Bread

2009-09-21T06:58:00.000-07:00

The "F" Bread

The “F” Bread

I recently watched a documentary titled, “How To Cook Your Life” featuring Zen Priest Edward Brown. He “…demonstrates that cooking is a feast of the senses.” I can totally buy that. In the documentary he goes on to say we as a society do not use our hands and hands were meant to be used. Our hands have become idle. They say idle hands are the devil’s tools. I’m not sure I buy that. I only get in trouble when I USE my hands. Anyway, I’m pretty sure that statement is not valid in MY home to begin with…we use our hands quite a bit…some more than others. However, I get his point, and one of the most perfect uses for hands, is the art of bread making, although hubby may beg to differ. I just love to roll in…I mean roll THE dough!

I love to bake and breads are at the top of my list, both sweet breads and savory. (Sweet breads as in cinnamon rolls and the like; not to be confused with internal organs. Gross.)

Next, the hard part…Decisions, Decisions! Would I make a pear and bleu cheese braid? …A Parisian Diplomat? …Monkey Bread? …A Croatian Walnut Roll? (mouth watering over that one!) …Dosa, Flatbread, Foccacia, Povitcia, Chiabatta, Challa, Stollen, Pannetone, Hot Cross Buns? …should it be a loaf, a baton, baguette, roll, boule, Swiss roll, crescents, knots? If we’re going by personality a twisted knot would fit beautifully, however, I decided to go with one of my all time favorite and most fun recipes… Fig Bubble Bread. Huh? Yep! It’s fancy, fun, fresh, figgy and FABULOUS…. all the good “F” words! Watch and see how much figgin’ fun you can have with this bread and I hope you try this at home!

FIGGIN’ BUBBLE BREAD (…Thanks Lacey!)

1 package Fleischmann’s yeast
¼ cup warm water
1 cup warm milk
2 cups fruit preserves
½ cup sugar
2 tbsp. sugar
4 cups flour
½ cup butter
2 eggs

Glaze:
1/3 cup honey
2 tbsp butter
1 tbsp. vanilla

First, dissolve the yeast in warm water about 5 minutes. Make sure the water is room temperature. If it’s too warm it will kill the yeast (similar in nature to Monistat) and you will have very, cardboardish, flat bread. You cannot revive your yeast. You will have to start over.

Next, add the milk, sugar, eggs, flour and half of your butter. Mix it until well blended and a soft dough forms. You can perform this step in a mixer with a dough hook, but I prefer to get my hands dirty! It reminds me of being a kid and playing with paper mache…ewwwww fun! Hopefully it will not turn out like paper mache or your figgy bread will be a figgin’ speed bump!

When done, turn your dough out onto a floured board or surface and knead about 6-8 minutes. To knead the bread, start by folding your dough in half. Push the dough away from you with the heels of your hands. Make a quarter turn with the dough and fold in half again, always folding towards you. Continue this method of folding and pushing by quarter turns and you are officially kneading your bread. You’ll know when the process is complete when the dough becomes smooth and shiny. To test, press two fingers in the dough. If the indent stays, it’s ready to rise.

Place the dough in a greased dish, turning to coat both sides. Cover and let rise in a warm, safe place about 1 to 1 ½ hours or until it’s doubled in size. Punch down the dough…this is a GREAT way to rid yourself of built up hostility… and turn it back out onto your surface.

Next, divide your dough into 24 pieces or dough balls. We can NEVER seem to get away from our balls can we? Flatten and fill each piece of your dough with 1 tsp. preserves, pinching each closed, forming your balls. (Men, I’d skip reading this next part… said covering eyes.) Put ½ your balls into a bundt pan and brush them with butter, then sprinkle with sugar. (Oh the visual!) Place the remaining dough balls into your pan and repeat butter brushing and sugar sprinkling.

Allow your balls to rise about 35-45 minutes, then bake at 350 for about 30 minutes. Mix the ingredients for your glaze and pour over your bread. Let cool and serve. I hope you and yours enjoy this fine figgy creation! I think MY prisoners will approve.

Lacey's Thank Gawd It Turned Out Sundried Tomato 'n Carmelized Onion Sprouted Grain Bread

2009-09-19T15:44:00.000-07:00

Bread. The final baking frontier. To many, me included, baking bread is a daunting task. Hell to be honest baking anything is a daunting task for me. I can make white banana bread. I'm beginning to think it is a "gift from God" to have that ability. Don't ask my how I do it either, cuz I haven't a clue...I have waited until the bananas are so freaking stinky they make me gag, and following my mothers recipe to a T, the shit still turns out white. At least I can take solace in the fact that I AM NOT ALONE. Thus, YOU are not alone either if you too have turned out white banana bread (although I am sure that I am a rarity in that regard), burnt cookies or just go for the Pillsbury can instead of making biscuts from scratch.

For a long time I gave up on baking. I just didn't do it. But my three year old daughter does much better when she doesn't eat wheat or too much dairy (and by better I mean she doesn't get ear infection after ear infection), so I've made the 110 mile trek to Whole Foods to stock up on gluten free stuff, soy yogurt, rice pasta and gads of other highly priced "non wheat" products. And about six plus months ago I picked up the book Essential Eating Sprouted Baking by Janie Quinn. I skimmed it once I brought it home and then it sat on the shelf for quite a while. I mean, it was about baking. Shudder...Baking.

Luckily I belong to a snazzy group of Four Chicks who encourage each other in the kitchen, even though we recently confessed to eating a shit ton of halloween candy early, and now here I sit typing up a freaking blog about baking bread. Go figure.

Since I'm supposed to be the Organic Chick in the group, here's what I got for the week:

I am using both buckwheat flour and sprouted wheat flour. Buckwheat is gluten free. That's really all I know about it, except for the fact that the consistency is like silt. It is super fine and not fluffy like regular flour at all. Sprouted flour is pretty cool stuff. Due to the way the grain is...processed...for lack of a better word, sprouted flour digests more like a vegetable than a starch. And from what I understand some people who have a gluten intolerance can eat sprouted grain products without issue. The word "enriched" does not come into play with sprouted flour. At all. Whatsoever. For that, we loves it much. (Read more about it here: http://www.essentialeating.com/, or google sprouted flour). Unfortunately sprouted flour is freaking expensive, and I've only been able to buy it online.

I'm also using organic milk, organic olive oil, organic sucranat, organic onion and garlic.

Recipe:
1/2 lbs total sundried tomatoes diced, sauteed onion and roasted garlic (I used my handy dandy weigher thingy)
1 1/2 olive oil
2 1/4 active dry yeast
2 tsp sucranat
1/4 cup milk
3 1/4 cup sprouted flour
1/4 cup buckwheat flour
2 1/2 tsp sea salt
1 tbsp herbs de provence (rosemary and thyme)
1/3 cup shredded parmesan cheese

Chop the onion and saute it. Set it aside to cool.

While the onion is cooking, place water in large bowl, add sucranat and stir to disolve. Next add the yeast to the bowl and let sit for ten minutes until it bubbles. Add milk to bowl and stir. (I used a Kitchenaide mixer)

Take out two cups of sprouted flour and start adding it to the wet mix slowly.

In a second bowl combine 1 1/4 cup of sprouted flour with the buckwheat flour, salt and dried herbs. Add this flour mix to the other slowly..I read something about salt slowing down the yeast processing, you don't want to add it too soon, so add it to the mix in the second batch of flour, blah blah blah -so I'm trying it.

Once you've added all the flour into the bowl and it is mixed up, add the onion/tomato/garlic and mix. Now add the cheese and mix. The dough at this point should be sticky - like when you put your hand to a Stick It Note sticky.

Place the dough on a lightly floured counter and start kneeding. Push the dough away from you with the heel of your hand, pull the flap back over, turn 1/4 turn and repeat. Do this for like 8-10 minutes. I set my kitchen timer so I wouldn't forget. At the end of all that, the dough should be elasticy and your hands should hurt. At least mine did. And bakers do this for a living? My God!

It should look like this:

Next coat a clean bowl with some olive oil, plop the dough in it, cover with saran wrap and let it sit. It needs to rise double its size. It took mine about and hour and a half to do that, and I had the oven going baking a butternut squash.

Now take out some aggression, but not too much, and punch the dough a couple times to alieve some gas. You'll hear a fizz/whiz sound when you do it.
Take the dough out, shape the bread into a round and put it on a lightly floured baking sheet. Cover (I used a warm towel that I nuked..yes I really did), and let it double in size again.

Preheat the oven, if you haven't already, to 450. Once the dough has doubled in size add some nice salt to the top with more herbs de provence, put it in the oven. Bake for ten minutes, reduce heat to 400 and let it cook.

Wa-la: BREAD!

The hubby and I both agree that the bread is damn good. The sundried tomato flavor is strong, but the onion and cheese balance it out nicely. The original recipe I used called for bread flour, and since I subbed that out for sprouted flour I added some sucranat, also not called for. It was a total guess on my part, but after studying up the bread recipes in Essential Eating, every bread recipe in that book calls for maple syrup or sugar (which can be subbed for sucranat and vice versa) and I've read on a few websites that sugar can help the yeast out - so I tried it. Go big, or throw it away I guess. And it worked.
I still think I might have been a bit too impatient on the second round of dough rising. I know that I definitely let the dough double in size the first time - I took pics for this blog and looked back at them to see (ha ha)..but I might have listened to the timer in my head a little too closely the second time. Next time I think I will be a bit more patient. Either way, the flavor of the bread is fantastic. And now that I've been successful in making bread, I will be ordering more expensive sprouted flour and trying even more recipes.
If there is any left over, I'll be using this bread for our sandwich blog next week. As it is such a strongly flavored bread, it will surely be a challenge attempting to pair it with veggies and/or meat to be successful. Looking forward to it!

WEEK 2: Yeasty Concoctions aka BREADS!

2009-09-14T08:25:00.000-07:00

What do you call a bunch of blondes with yeast infections? A whine and cheese party! What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.

Sure. There are tons of jokes out there about yeast. But it’s a major component in this week’s experiment. The Four Chicks will take a basic bread recipe, and manipulate it, finger it, knead it, pound it, then let it rise again and pound it some more (maybe even add cumquats?). The finished product will be mouthwateringly soft and delicious, and make you want to lick every little white morsel off your fingers after you swallow it.

BREAD is the theme of this week’s blog. So pull yourself out of the gutter and concentrate. We will provide our perspectives on working with a basic dough recipe in our own cooking styles

What can four completely different chicks, scattered across America, come up with using basic bread dough? Stay tuned and see…we guarantee a completely calorie-free, carb-less, breadgasm that can cause mastification and jactation (look it up).

What toy will the Hooker Cooker choose for this session? Which personality will the schizophrenic Wild Card use this week? Can the Gifted Gourmet compete in a category that contains food typically fed to prisoners? and what kind of organic crap will the A la Carte girl decide to use? Stay tuned...and keep your vagisil handy.

Here is the basic bread ingredients that we will use and abuse and make our own. Stay tuned to see how our loaves develop!

BASIC BREAD INGREDIENTS

• 6 cups flour
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 2 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 1 envelope active dry yeast
• 2 cups very warm water, about 120°
• 2 tablespoons softened butter

(Fine Print: Although every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of the information on this World Wide Web site, mistakes will occur. Four Chicks will not be responsible for any damage done to your diet or your waistline following consumption of these recipes… We can't be held responsible for your actions. We are not acting in any way to force you to consume bread products; you are choosing to eat it! Continuing to read further means that you understand and accept responsibility for your own actions, thus releasing the creators of this Web page and our bread products from all liability.)

Melissa's Buffalo Bleu Balls in Red Mud Sauce

2009-09-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

Buffalo Bleu Balls in Red Mud Sauce

Bill Murray stars as Tripper, the nutty leader (and trainer) of a motley crew of camp counselors. But Tripper proves to be more than just a wild and wacky leader, as he takes a special interest in Rudy, an insecure camper. Thought for the day: "It Just Doesn't Matter!" Directed by Ivan Reitman, who went on to helm such hits as TWINS and GHOSTBUSTERS.

OOPS! That's the WRONG Meatballs! But hey, anything goes here right?

So no I did not attempt to direct a remake of the classic movie in my kitchen. I did however, attempt to create a moist, succulent version of an American staple, although Italian in origin.

Meatballs are more than just a garnish for a huge plate of spaghetti! They make an awesome sandwich, a great topping for pizza, a decadent soup, and AMAZING appetizers like the recipe I'll share with you today.

Fall is in the air and with the crisp breeze and colorful leaves comes the start of FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL season! What a great appetizer for any game! I mean, footBALL, meatBALL, they were just created to form a beautiful partnership! They're hearty enough to feed the menfolk and a basic recipe provides enough to feed the masses.

I decided to take a bit of a "Clean-out the fridge" approach, as you can do with meatballs. They allow themselves to successfully take on most any ingredient you can thow in the bowl! After taking inventory, and locating a brilliant bit of Shropshire Bleu cheese hiding in my cheese drawer, I decided on Buffalo Bleu Balls...a little spicy, a little saucy and a little sassy.

Buffalo Bleu Balls in Red Mud Sauce

• 3.5 pounds lean ground beef
• 1 package Onion Soup mix
• 1 cup Rye bread crumbs
• 1/2 cup crumbled bleu cheese
• 1/4 cup chopped onion
• 1/4 cup chopped red apple
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup Texas Pete hot sauce (reserve 1/4 cup for sauce)
• 1 Tbsp Worchestershire sauce
• 2 Tbsp minced garlic
• 2-3 dashes Liquid Smoke
• Salt and pepper to taste

First, place your ground beef in a bowl and add remainder of ingredients. Mash lightly with your hands until the ingredients are well combined. Keep in mind, the more you play with your meat, the more tough and dry it will become (sound familiar?) Pay close attention to the consistency of the mixture...you must keep it moist and well lubbed for proper balling to occur.

After meat is well belnded, form your balls. I prefer to use a cookie scoop to ensure all balls are uniform in size. I just love balls in uniform :) Finally bake your balls at 350 degrees for approximately 15-20 minutes or until no longer pink in the center. It is appropriate to sample and test your balls. I do not commit to (serving) anything I haven't sampled.

Finally, remove your balls from the oven and serve with the red mud dipping sauce; recipe listed below.

This recipe should provide you and your guests with over 48 mouthwatering, scrumptious balls perfect for tailgaiting or any other occasion! Bon appetit'!

Red Mud Sauce:
1/4 cup reserved Texas Pete
1 stick melted butter
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1 tbsp. honey
1 tsp. crushed red pepper
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp coriander

Bring to a boil in a small sauce pan. Allow to cool before serving.

Nikki's Italian Stallion Balls (aka "Inconspicuously Healthy Meatballs That My Husband Will Eat")

2009-09-13T18:05:00.000-07:00

*edit* OMG I just realized I never posted the pics... I am so sorry that I have deprived you of the beauty of my balls... it will NEVER happen again (until the next time my camera's battery dies...)
*Disclaimer* I will be adding pictures tomorrow, the battery in my camera died and apparently you can't retreive the pictures until its been re-juiced!

I opted for a more traditional italian style meatball that I served in meatball subs for friends on Saturday night. I must note that my hubby is not happy with the name of my balls (he's Polish, not Italian) although after some deliberation he decided that Polish Balls wouldn't be much better as he wasn't particularly crazy about saying that he was eating Polish Balls... Anywhoo here we go:

My history with meatballs is a short one, hubby and I have attempted to make them on several occasions only to come up with balls that are Sahara Desert Dry and horribly bland. Our very own Hooker Chick, Kim told me her super secret ball boiling method so I decided to give that a shot... I have coupons for Pizza Hut if this doesn't work out.

My guests were due at 6pm so I headed out shopping at about 4 (I'm not so good at the advanced planning thing...) and got immediately to work when I got home.
This is everything but the egg and breadcrumbs...

Into my skillet went the healthy stuff:
1 red bell pepper diced itty bitty tiny
1 small yellow onion diced itty bitty tiny
4 oz of portobella mushrooms (you guessed it) diced itty bitty tiny
I drizzled about 2 tbs of EVOO over the top added the lid & turned the heat to medium-high.

Into bowl number one:
1 italian sub roll torn into small pieces
1/3 cup 1% milk
I mooshed that together and realized there was WAY too much milk in there so i drained off the excess and was left with probably 1/4 cup. Set this aside to soak.

Before moving on to the meat mooshing I gave the skillet with my veggies a little jiggle to make sure everything was cooking evenly & turned the heat down to medium.

Into bigger bowl number two:
20 oz (1.25lbs) hot italian turkey sausage (it was in "link" form so I had to squeeze it out...)

.98lbs of 90% lean naturally raised ground beef
1/2 cup Sargento's Italian Blend cheese
(don't start smooshing yet!!)

At this point the veggies were sufficiently softened so I added them to the milk/bread mixture (I was afraid start cooking the meat if I dumped them in still hot... probably this wouldn't have made a difference... but it made me feel better... and that makes AAAALLL the difference...)

I now added all of my ingredients together and commenced with the smooshing (after removing all jewelry first, I didn't want my guests choking on my wedding rings... the only CPR I know is what learned from TV...) after thoroughly smooshing all ingredients dear hubby reminded me that I forgot the egg... I couldn't remember why I needed an egg but figured it couldn't hurt so had him crack one in there (I forgot Lacey's cardinal rules and had both hands in on the mooshing) At this point hubby points out that it seems to sticky so we tried to form a ball... and it just wasn't happening so he got the bread crumbs down for me and dumped about 1/4 cup in. I mooshed that together and had another failed attempt at creating a solid ball. Hubby got in on the mooshing and declared that I had over-moisturized them to the consistency of snot. I ended up having to add a full cup of bread crumbs before everything held itself together.

On to the ball rolling and boiling!!

I dumped a really really big can of low fat, low sodium chicken broth into a pot, turned the burner on high (or rather my lovely husband did all this because I was... goopy...) and started rolling balls while it heated. Now, I prefer bigger balls than the rest of the chicks(I like to have something substantial to sink my teeth into) so I made each one about 2 to 2 1/2 inches in diameter. Once the pot reached a rolling boil I dropped about 10 in and timed them for about 8 minutes before pulling one out to check for pink. Everything looked good so I pulled them all out to drain on a papertowel and dropped in the next 10.

While those boiled I tasted my first ball and it was FANTASTIC! Not too spicy, not bland, not dry, not overly vegified, my only complaint... the reason I picked red peppers is I wanted them to blend with the meat (remember these are supposed to be INCONSPICUOUSLY healthy balls) BUT after boiling the meat turned really pale and the peppers stuck out like a sore thumb. It all worked out though because once I added them the pot of simmering Prego Mushroom spaghetti sauce too keep warm everything blended right in :)

I completely forgot to count the balls but I know I boiled 4 batches with about 10 in each plus there was one last half batch so we'll guestimate that it turned out to be 45 good sized balls.

Hubby prepared the foil boats for the italian sub rolls and I put three balls in each, topped them off with a little extra sauce and more italian cheese. They went into the oven at 350* for 10-15 minutes (until the cheese is good and melty and the buns are sufficiantly toasty). We sat down to eat at about 6:30 (see my shopping procrastination only made us a half hour late!)

The meatball subs were a hit, and no one got food poisoning so I would declare the Italian Stalion Meatballs to be a success!!

Official recipe for Italian Stallion Balls (aka "Inconspicuously Healthy Meatballs That My Husband Will Eat")
1 red bell pepper (locally grown!)
1 small yellow onion (also locally grown!)
4oz portobella mushrooms (from the grocery store... but I tried!)
2tbs Extra Virgin Olive Oil (note: I used a nonstick pan, if you don't you'll need more oil!)
1 italian sub roll (2 slices of italian bread will probably work just as well)
1/4 cup 1% milk (rBGH free!)
20oz lean hot turkey italian sausage links (5 links)
1lb 98% lean ground beef (naturally raised with no hormones or antibiotics!!)
1/2 cup italian blend cheese (I used Sargento's... because they make tasty cheese)
1 egg (free range AND locally... um... layed...)
2/3 to 1 1/3 italian seasoned bread crumbs
1 48 oz can low fat, low sodium chicken broth

Dice the red pepper, mushroom and onions up itty bitty and stick them in a skillet over high heat. drizzle EVOO over them and toss lightly to coat, allow to cook covered while you assemble the rest of the ingrediants. Tear your sub roll into tiny peices and let soak in a bowl with the milk. Toss veggies lightly again and turn heat down to medium. In a large mixing bowl squeeze turkey sausage out of casing add ground beef, egg, cheese and 2/3 cup bread crumbs. Add veggies to milk/bread mixture then dump everything in the big bowl. Using the Lacey approved one handed method smoosh to mix, then attempt to make a ball roughly 2 inches in diamiter. If the ball isn't sticking add more bread crumbs in 1/4 cup incremints until your ball retains its shape (no one likes saggy balls!) and then form all of your balls. Pour chicken broth into a medium sized sauce pan and bring to a light boil. CAREFULLY add 8-10 balls into the pot (I burned myself a few times on boiling ball broth...). Boil for 8 minutes and put them directly into a pot of simmering sauce or onto a serving dish. ENJOY!

Week 1: Lacey's Everything but the....Balls!

2009-09-13T16:27:00.000-07:00

Ahhh meatballs. These delectably meaty balls call my name when the weather gets colder and I find myself needing to cook and store food for winter like a little squirrel. I like meatballs for a multitude of reasons. One, they go with alot of dishes, two, you can freeze them, three, you can pretty much use anything in them and they taste great, and four they are the perfect food to make for people who get bored easily. If I get sick of cooking pan after pan, which I always do, I can just toss the rest of the mix in a seal a meal bag and throw it in the freezer to finish up later - which I did this time. As usual.

Now...I have three Cardinal Meatball Rules:
1. Keep one hand on the bowl so it stays clean while mixing the meat and bread with the other in case you need to add more ingredients – making meatballs is a messy business. You can of course wear gloves but I find this to be sissy-ish (just get in there and get dirty!), plus mushing all the ingredients together makes for softer skin anyways.
2. Breadcrumbs will almost always thicken up a too runny meatball mix, keep it nearby and don’t add any until everything is mixed together.
3. Food process the wet bready stuff if you can. Its just nicer that way.

That being said, my general recipe for balls is as follows:
1 lbs low fat all natural/grain fed hamburger
1 lbs italian sausage
2 eggs
1/4 cup milk
4-6 slices of fresh french bread loaf (about an inch thick
1 small yellow onion
1 green bellpepper
2-4 cloves garlic
garlic salt
italian seasonings
pepper
that Kraft cheese in a can (aka Stinky Cheese in our fam)
Italian style breadcrumbs

This week however I decided to clear out some stuff and tossed in some organic cream instead of the milk, red bellpepper instead of green, Italian Three Cheese in lieau of Stinky, added Rogue Creamery Bleu Cheese and some locally mixed Garlic Death cheese I had left over and a 1 lbs package of natural ground lamb I ran to the store for in the bowl as well.

So..here goes:

In the food processor -crack the two eggs, add the milk/cream, tear up and add the bread and pulse for a few seconds coating the bread thorougly and let sit for a minute. If you don't have a food processor just put it all in a bowl and get your hands dirty, it works the same but will just be a bit chunkier - who cares! It will all taste the same.
Chop the onion and bellpepper, crush the cloves of garlic and remove shell - add it to the processor and turn it on until everything is mush. Next, add the bleu and any other cheese you like to the top. It should look about like this:

In a(nother) large bowl - add all the meat, dump in some of the spices you like - I personally add about 3 tbsp italian seasonings, 1 tsp garlic salt, 1 tsp seasalt, about ten cranks on a pepper grinder, 1/4 cup of italian bread crumbs, and some preshredded italian three cheeses.

With one hand on the bowl (rule #1 remember?), start mixing all of the meats and dried seasonings together. Mix it! Mix it good! Now add in the bread mush from the processor and mix some more. A lot more!

Aaaaaand Houston? Do we have a problem?!?....Now is the time you will notice...did you overestimate the amount of cream/egg/bread mix and now have to go to the store for more burger? This is what you could get with the "dump and pour method" I prefer to use. I don't measure much ingredients. If you form a meatball at this point and it doesn't hold its form, well...refer to Cardinal Meatball Rule #2. It saves my arse. Every. Single. Time.

Now that your meatballs are all mixed, pop that bowl in the fridge, turn the oven on at 350 and start to clean up the mess you made. I am a firm believer - if you are making meatballs and there isn't a mess, you didn't do it right!

Once you've cleaned up, get out a cookie sheet and the bally mixture and start forming balls. Make them about an inch big if you can...mine usually end up larger than a golf ball for some reason. Place them an inch apart and cook for 20 minutes. If they are about a ping pong ball size, then 20 minutes should do it. If they are bigger like mine, you can flip them, and cook for another ten. And repeat, repeat, repeat. Or if you are like me and get bored, cook what you want for that night and toss the rest of the mix in the freezer (labeled so you know what the hell it is) and be done with it.

We like to warm our balls in the microwave and serve with a little salad and dried tomatoes drizzled with Evoo and balsamic , cheese and ciabatta bread. Or just slap those balls around in some sauce and noodles and call it good!

Ultimately when playing with these hairless balls it is all about consistency of the meaty mixture. The technique and ingredients don't matter. If it is too runny they won't hold up when cooking. They should be firm to the touch, holding their shape even when put under intense heated pressure. Remember Ladies: No one likes a flat ball!

WEEK ONE: Kim's Mi Amigas Bolas (Mexican Meatballs)

2009-09-13T12:44:00.000-07:00

So, I decided to make Mi Amigos Bolas, (aka My Friend’s Balls). I guess now, I should’ve called them Mi Enemigos Bolas (My Enemy’s Balls). I rarely ever cook with beef so I decided to use ground turkey instead of beef. One pound.
Thursday, I started with a package of Mexican cornbread. Add 1 egg and milk (or use package directions). I baked my cornbread a couple of days before to allow it to dry out some.

Skip to Saturday… I gathered up my ingredients and arranged them for a picture. Not realizing I had left out the chicken bouillon cubes and the egg. Rather than redo the picture, I just decided to let them star in their own photo.

First I filled my dutch oven ¾ of the way full and dropped in a couple of bouillon cubes. I started my pot of water to boil. Then, cut open the tube of ground turkey and plopped it into my bowl. Then I added the egg. Next, I threw about ½ of my cornbread into my blender and pulverized it into crumbs and dumped it into the bowl.

Next I added ½ a can of red enchilada sauce (about ½ a cup). I then threw in the can of green chilies and my spices: 2 tsp. chili powder, 2 tsp. ground cumin, 1 tablespoon dried minced onions, ½ tsp of garlic powder. I forgot to add salt but, oh well, screw it. I then gingerly reached my hands into the meaty mixture and began squeezing and caressing the gooey blend of ingredients. After much squishing and stroking of the meat I realized it was much too wet. So I had to pulverize the other half of the cornbread to add to the bowl. Only then did I realize I had left out the cheese. I added in about half a package of Kraft Natural Mexican blend cheddar jack cheese. Then the meaty dough seemed perfect.

By this time, my pot was boiling so I gently began pinching the meat off and forming it into 1” balls. I cautiously dropped the balls into the boiling broth and watched them sink to the bottom of the pot. I set my timer for 10 minutes. I boiled about 18-20 balls at a time. NOTE: the balls swelled up tremendously during boiling!

Meanwhile, I continued to roll the rest of the little balls. Once they began to float, I knew the meatballs were almost done. So once my timer went off, I ladled them out of the broth and dropped in some more. All in all, it made 52 meatballs. I had my husband, son and his friend give them a try and they absolutely loved them! I told my husband I should’ve called them enchilada balls because I used some of the same ingredients in them as I do my enchiladas. Next time I might grind up some corn tortillas and try them instead of the cornbread. I ate about six of the yummy balls of Mexican goodness.

Not long after that, I threw them up. But it wasn’t the balls fault. Nobody else threw up, so I must’ve come down with a stomach bug. Gross.

This recipe in a traditional format:
Mi Amigos Bolas

1 pkg. Mexican Style Cornbread Mix (plus ingredients listed on package)
1 lb. lean ground turkey (I used Honeysuckle White 93/7)
1 cup Kraft Natural Mexican Blend cheese
1 sm. can green chilies
1 egg
½ c. red enchilada sauce
1 T. dried minced onions
2 tsp. ground cumin
2 tsp. chili powder
½ tsp. garlic powder
2-3 cubes chicken bouillon

Fill dutch oven ¾ way full with water and drop in chicken bouillon cubes. Bring to boil. Using blender or food processor, make cornbread into crumbs. Mix ground turkey, cornbread crumbs, cheese, spices, egg, enchilada sauce and chilies. Form into 1” balls. Drop into mixture and boil for 10 minutes.

Makes approximately 52 meatballs.

Nutritional info:
Serving size: 1 meatballs
Servings per recipe: 52
Calories: 75
Total Fat: 2.3g
Cholesterol: 18mg
Sodium: 76mg
Total Carb: 2g
Protein: 2g

WEEK 1: MEATBALLS!! Balls, balls...everywhere!

2009-09-11T11:25:00.000-07:00

The general recipe for meatballs calls for hamburger, eggs, breadcrumbs, spices and maybe some onion and worchestershire sauce. Search for basic meatballs on any search engine and this is what you will find, trust me, I checked. But seriously? There are a multitude of variations a gal could do with meatballs. And this being the start of fall and football season, meatballs are a great food to make for the masses as they are plentiful and freezable if you have left overs. Just don't let your man get too close to the kitchen until they are done! So stay tuned for the ball blogs...I mean...meatball blogs. Can you guess which chick will make which balls? Bleu balls? Italian (stallion?) balls? Mi Amigos bolas? and Everything but the...balls?

OH!!! And next week, we will be featuring yeasty concoctions to tease your lips and palate...it's basic bread dough week!!

The Hatching of the Four Chicks

2009-09-08T14:22:00.000-07:00

Meet the Four Chicks. Kim, Lacey, Melissa, and Nikki. Kim is from Texas. Lacey -- Oregon, Melissa -- South Carolina, and Nikki -- Ohio. We are incredible friends. But we’ve never met. That’s right! You may be wondering how we can be incredible friends when we live so far apart. We met online on a weight loss website. It was a whirlwind friendship that is kept alive by hundreds of emails and text messages a day. (even fun Friday night drunk texting!!) We are all VERY different. Our ages range from 24 to 40, but that makes no difference to us. Some of us are full of tats and holes, some aren’t. Some of us are obsessed with shoes and purses, some aren’t. Some of us like Broadway musicals, some don’t. Three of us have kids, one doesn’t. Our kids range in age 3 to 20. We all have at least one dog. We do have some things in COMMON, however. We love to cook, rant about our hubbys (that we all love dearly) and we want to shed a few pounds, although that will not be the point of this blog. This will not be your everyday run-of-the mill recipe blog. It will probably be rated [at least] PG-13. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. May contain moderate language, (probably) minimal strong language, some explicit nudity (ok probably not since we all want to lose weight), intense violence (when the recipe doesn’t actually work out or our husbands really piss us off), gore (when we cut off our thumb trying to slice a mango, or our husband's throats), some sex (but not on the kitchen counter, we promise), or mild drug content (no comment.) The point of this blog is to take a basic recipe and modify it to our own cooking styles and share it with the world. Our cooking perspectives vary tremendously.

Kim (age 40 and the senior citizen of the group), aka “Hooker Cooker” likes things cheap, easy and quick (i.e. the “hooker” part!). She is a working mom of two teenagers, one in college, so it must be cheap and fast!! She likes food toys and prefers not to provide manual manipulation of food if she can help it. (i.e. uses breadmaker, George Foreman grill, BBQ Crock-Pit, FryDaddy, quesadilla maker, etc.)

Lacey (32) is into alternative cooking, things like sprouted grain flour and buffalo meat, so she is known as the “Alternative Ά la carte”. She has a beautiful 3-year old daughter and she is determined to feed her organic when possible. Her meals have been known to be organically orgasmic. She is proud of her potty mouth as well as her BAs in Religious Studies and Art History.

Melissa (37) is our own “Gifted Gourmet” and is also the “Spam Queen” in her state. (She is also the drunk texting queen!) She has won over 75 cooking competitions both locally and regionally. Her food has been featured on a magazine cover. We pretty much all hate her. (just kidding!) She has a daughter in college as well. But don’t underestimate her. She won’t hesitate to kick your ass if she thinks you need it.

Nikki (24) is the baby of the bunch, and is our own little “Wild Card” She tends to be a mix of everything, leaning towards more all natural without breaking the bank, healthy but not uber weird cause her hubby wont eat it; quick but still tasty yet with a “from scratch” taste. So she will be catering to the schizophrenics who read our blog since she has multiple cooking personalities. Nikki has no children yet, but she does have a couple of dogs.

So that about sums up the Four Chicks in a nutshell. We could write a novel about our “textscapades” and have seriously considered doing so. Instead we decided to create this blog to share our lives and cooking perspective with any sucker that will read it. Yes, that is you. So welcome to our blog and we hope you enjoy it. And if you don’t then eff off.

Our first tantalizing blog will be about balls. More specifically meat. balls. Stay tuned for four different takes on these delectable balls of moist goodness, plump with things to arouse your taste buds. Good enough to make you say “I must have those balls. NOW!” They are sure to be diverse and entertaining. After reading, you can decide which one of us is more talented and knowledgeable in the area of balls. Meatballs, that is. No Lotrimin needed. (google it if you need to).